Easiest Rounds Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

8 Results for Easiest Rounds

View 1 - 8 results for easiest rounds comic strips. Discover the best "Easiest Rounds" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2000's comic on:

Tags #conditioning worsening, #easiest rounds, #home early, #layoffs, #storm, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss types on his computer, "Due to worsening storm conditions, all 'non-essential' personnel may go home early." The Boss reaches in his desk drawer. The Boss peers out the window in his office through his binoculars and thinks to himself, "This will be the earliest round of layoffs ever."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2015's comic on:

Tags #deception, #dishonest, #dishonesty, #honest, #honesty, #lying, #reverse psychology, #trick, #trickery, #noteworthy, #hide evil, #verbal assault, #easiest lie, #set up

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2007's comic on:

Tags #diet, #eating disorder, #first 20 pounds, #diet with buddy, #lose weight, #weight issues, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? Tina: Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder! The Boss: They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest. Tina: NOT HELPING!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2012's comic on:

Tags #crimes, #engineers, #engineering question, #holiday lights, #homeless guy, #catapult, #satellite map, #fell off roof, #flight oath, #neighbors pool, #broken leg, #heartless

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have a minute to answer an engineering question? My wife is out of town visiting her sister. She asked me to put up the holiday lights while she was gone. I hired a homeless guy to do it and he fell off the roof. What's the easiest way to get rid of the body before my wife comes home? Dilbert: Your question is disturbing, but I'm intrigued by the engineering part. Here's a design for a catapult you can build at home. And here's a satellite map showing the best flight path to a neighbor's pool. Did he die right away? Boss: No, just a broken leg.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2010's comic on:

Tags #new account manager, #boring job, #problem solver, #introduce, #shake hands, #first day, #toys

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new account manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "His job is solving a hodgepodge of problems that would bore a normal person to death." The Boss says, "We think his parents didn't let him have toys." Dilbert says, "The first day is the easiest."

Dilbert Characters

Improving Your Reputation At Work

Thank you for voting.
Improving Your Reputation At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2015's comic on:

Tags #insult, #power, #socialization, #social skills, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I improve my reputation at work? Wally: The easiest way is to make your co-workers look worse. Asok: Wouldn't they notice? Wally: You didn't.

Trust The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2017's comic on:

Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Wally Rounds Off

Thank you for voting.
Wally Rounds Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2020's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #business, #work, #critical, #tasks, #failed, #enjoyment, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i did no work this week because i had too many critical tasks to do. no matter what i worked on, i would have failed to do the other 99% of tasks that were equally critical. so i rounded it off to 100% and enjoyed my week. alice yelling: why do i work here??? why???