Eat Candy Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

206 Results for Eat Candy

View 1 - 10 results for eat candy comic strips. Discover the best "Eat Candy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the contractor, #dream, #regular employee, #eat candy, #poop emeralds

View Transcript

Transcript

The Contractor "My dream is to one day become a regular employee." "My dream is to eat candy and poop emeralds." "The difference is that I'm halfway successful."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

The Candy Honor System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #stock market, #hedge fund, #million dollars, #insider trading, #algorithm, #winning trades, #create algorithm, #eat fiber, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll pay you a million dollars a year to work at my hedge fund. I'll do the insider trading and you pretend you created an algorithm that makes winning trades. Dilbert: What if I actually create the algorithm? Dogbert: Sure, and maybe you can eat fiber and make gold, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #critics, #aliens, #eat, #bug, #reptilian, #gerbil, #game show, #visionary, #television

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to a radio news broadcast. The newscaster says, "Critics continued their accusations that the management of Megaslime Corporation is made up of reptilian aliens from another planet." The newscaster continues, "A company spokesman offered to eat a bug and not enjoy it, thus proving they are not reptilian." The newscaster continues, "Critics responded by insisting on a live gerbil instead of a bug. Merv Griffin announced that he would launch a new game show based on the concept." Dogbert says, "The man is a visionary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #blind date, #biggest, #woman, #chance, #financially, #surviving, #dinner, #eat, #starch, #pasta, #banned, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #cushion, #pillow, #eat, #pace, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "I have a busy day ahead of me." Dogbert thinks, "Got to do some pillow-sitting, maybe eat a little." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better pace myself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #lab, #model, #automatic, #dentures, #program, #eat, #meat, #loaf, #asleep, #boss, #johnson

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the Boss stand in the laboratory. Dilbert says, "This is the first lab model of automatic dentures." Dilbert explains, "You can program them to eat a meat loaf for you while you sleep . . . Quite a little time saver." Inside the lab, the Boss asks, "Weren't you working with Johnson?" Dilbert replies, "Ooh . . . Bad news about Johnson, sir."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #mutt, #chew, #assignment, #homework, #dog, #eat

View Transcript

Transcript

A boy walks up behind Dogbert and yells, "Yo! Mutt!!" The boy holds out a piece of paper and continues, "I need an excuse for not doing my homework. Chew on this assignment sheet and I'll say 'A dog ate it.'" The boy sits in a classroom desk and says, "A dog made me eat it." The boy's clothes are ripped and his face is dirty.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #humans, #sleep, #eat, #don't, #die, #existential, #crisis

View Transcript

Transcript

Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.