Eat Donuts Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

215 Results for Eat Donuts

View 1 - 10 results for eat donuts comic strips. Discover the best "Eat Donuts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hired, #audit, #perfect job, #give money, #call dolts, #alice, #engineer, #makes slides, #eat donuts, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Alice, "I've been hired by your company to perform an ISO 9000 audit." Looking at his laptop PC, Dogbert says, "Basically, you give me money and I tell you that you're a bunch of dolts. It's the perfect job for me." Dogbert continues, "Tell me what you do here, Alice, if that's your real name." Alice replies, "I'm an engineer. I make slides that people can't read. Sometimes I eat donuts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #rivers, #trees, #management, #start, #trust-building, #exercise, #minute, #decide, #eat, #donuts, #co-worker, #bear, #donut, #committee, #Wally, #alice

View Transcript

Transcript

An instructor says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "We'll start with a trust-building exercise." The instructor points to a person dangling by a rope over a bear and a plate of donuts. The instructor says, "You have one minute to decide to eat these donuts or to save your co-worker from the bear." Alice asks, "Okay, who wants to be on the donut option working committee?" Wally says, "Oops . . . Problem solved."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #billion, #dollars, #earnings, #projections, #level, #donuts, #meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company is a billion dollars below its earnings projections." The Boss continues with his mouth full, "From now on, only the managers at my level or above may eat donuts at company meetings." The Boss continues, "This won't be easy for any of us. Heck, I don't even know if I can eat this many donuts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #donuts, #eat nit wit, #nitwit, #ogre, #poor guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with two managers, an ogre and a nitwit. Dilbert says, "Our project team is composed of a nitwit, an ogre, and a #$&%!" The nitwit asks, "Which one of them is a nitwit?" The ogre raises his hand and says, "You didn't bring donuts. May I eat the nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "Yes." The nitwit says, "Poor guy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #intimidation, #respect, #humans, #elf magic, #magic, #elves, #verbal, #bozo, #chubby, #karl, #donuts, #shut up

View Transcript

Transcript

An elf says to three other elves, "The humans are not afraid of our elf magic. We must gain their respect through verbal intimidation." Dilbert sits at a table with a box of donuts and a glass of milk in front of him. The elves shout, "Hey, Bozo! We're talking to you, Chubby!" The elves walk away with donuts around their bodies. An elf says, "And then Karl says 'Do you think you're going to eat ALL of those donuts?'" Karl thinks, "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #stock market, #hedge fund, #million dollars, #insider trading, #algorithm, #winning trades, #create algorithm, #eat fiber, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll pay you a million dollars a year to work at my hedge fund. I'll do the insider trading and you pretend you created an algorithm that makes winning trades. Dilbert: What if I actually create the algorithm? Dogbert: Sure, and maybe you can eat fiber and make gold, too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #critics, #aliens, #eat, #bug, #reptilian, #gerbil, #game show, #visionary, #television

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to a radio news broadcast. The newscaster says, "Critics continued their accusations that the management of Megaslime Corporation is made up of reptilian aliens from another planet." The newscaster continues, "A company spokesman offered to eat a bug and not enjoy it, thus proving they are not reptilian." The newscaster continues, "Critics responded by insisting on a live gerbil instead of a bug. Merv Griffin announced that he would launch a new game show based on the concept." Dogbert says, "The man is a visionary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind date, #biggest, #woman, #chance, #financially, #surviving, #dinner, #eat, #starch, #pasta, #banned, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #cushion, #pillow, #eat, #pace, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "I have a busy day ahead of me." Dogbert thinks, "Got to do some pillow-sitting, maybe eat a little." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better pace myself."