Eat Mud And Die Comic Strips
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361 Results for Eat Mud And Die
View 1 - 10 results for eat mud and die comic strips. Discover the best "Eat Mud And Die" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 29,
2003
Tags #ceo, #move offcie, #near ceo home, #hug expense, #eat mud and die, #stock options, #buy hummer
Transcript
The Boss: "Our company is relocating to be nearer to our CEO's home." "When asked about the justification for the huge expense, our CO quipped, 'HA HA HA! Eat mud and die!'" "Then he gave himself some stock options and went to buy a Hummer."
Thursday April 04,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #humans, #sleep, #eat, #don't, #die, #existential, #crisis
Transcript
Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.
Sunday April 16,
1995
Tags #job interview, #resume, #impressive, #biggest fault, #work too hard, #forget to eat, #bathe, #die as desk, #bloted, #stinking corpse, #someone hungrier
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the hall wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. Wally says, "Looks like somebody has a job interview." Dilbert says, "Shh." Dilbert sits across from a desk. The interviewer says, "Your resume is impressive. I only have one question." The interviewer asks, "What do you consider your biggest fault?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work too hard." He thinks to himself, "Good one." The interviewer asks, "Why is that a fault?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Uh . . . I work so hard that I forget to eat and bathe for days. Eventually I starve to death at my desk." Dilbert lies down on the chair and continues, "I become a bloated, stinking corpse. Insects breed in my body. I spread disease to the entire company." Wally asks Dilbert, "How did it go?" Dilbert replies, "They want somebody hungrier."
Tuesday October 30,
2007
Tags #credible scientist, #products harm enbviornment, #cats doubt on data, #eat wrong food, #hope you die
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"
Wednesday July 25,
1990
Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #through, #wall, #doctor, #die, #over the wall
Transcript
A lab rat thinks, "I hate my life." The rat thinks, "If I eat one more ton of macaroni and cheese I think I'll die . . . Of course, that may be the point." The rat thinks, "Tonight I'm going 'over the wall.' Wait . . . I'm a rat . . . I'll go THROUGH the wall."
Friday August 12,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #stock market, #hedge fund, #million dollars, #insider trading, #algorithm, #winning trades, #create algorithm, #eat fiber, #money
Transcript
Dogbert: I'll pay you a million dollars a year to work at my hedge fund. I'll do the insider trading and you pretend you created an algorithm that makes winning trades. Dilbert: What if I actually create the algorithm? Dogbert: Sure, and maybe you can eat fiber and make gold, too.
Thursday August 25,
2011
Tags #anger, #thinking, #ignorant, #backstabbing, #die, #make changes
Transcript
Customer meeting Boss: If I may correct what Dilbert just said, I'm sure it would be easy to make those changes. Dilbert: You ignorant, backstabbing son of a beach ball. Boss: Are you saying something inside your head? Dilbert: No. Die.
Thursday November 03,
2011
Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch
Transcript
Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.
Wednesday November 30,
2011
Tags #employees, #secretaries (office), #manually entered data, #entire weekend, #die monster!, #business
Transcript
Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.
Thursday December 29,
2011
Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business
Transcript
Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.