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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #Family, #work from home, #2 days err week, #reduce carbon foorprint, #wife, #small children, #egg carton, #talking to moron, #relationships

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Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #shower, #egg, #lassie, #rin tin tin, #benji, #big, #furry

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Dogbert stands on a stool and looks in the bathroom mirror. He asks, "Do you think I look more like Rin Tin Tin or Lassie? Maybe Benji?" Dilbert stands in front of the shower with a towel around his waist. Dilbert replies, "I dunno . . . Maybe a big furry egg." Dogbert says, "With that little inspiration boost, I believe I am ready to attack the new day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dawn, #bob, #dinosaurs, #craving, #stop, #unusual, #credit, #egg

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Dawn the Dinosaur says to Bob, "I think I'm going to have an egg, Bob." Dawn continues, "I'm having unusual cravings." Bob shouts, "Yes!! I did it!!" Dawn puts her hands on her hips and says, "Like right now I'm craving you will stop taking all the credit." Bob shouts, "I'm number one!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dawn, #Dogbert, #egg, #dinosaurs, #animal behavior

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Bob the Dinosaur stands with Dawn and tells Dogbert, "We're going to have an egg!!" Dogbert asks, "What are you hoping it will be?" Bob replies, "Something round and white, about yea big."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dawn, #egg, #shelley, #baby, #dinosaur

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Dawn the Dinosaur says to Bob, "We should think of a name before the egg arrives." Bob asks, "How about Shelley?" Dawn asks, "Bob, are you aware that the egg will become a baby dinosaur?" Bob looks shocked and asks, "What?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #bob, #dawn, #easy, #tossed, #air, #dad, #stuff, #egg, #baby-sit

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Dawn the Dinosaur hands Bob an egg and says, "It's your turn to baby-sit the egg, Bob." Bob throws the egg into the air and thinks, "I used to love it when my dad tossed me in the air." Bob thinks, "This dad stuff is easy." Dawn watches him toss the egg and looks furious.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bills', #big, #egg-shaped, #men's fashion, #clothes, #statement, #sweater, #brown

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Dilbert walks into "Bill's Big 'N' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions." A sign in the window says, "Specializing in the ovoid man." Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I want to some clothes that make a statement." The clerk responds, "All our clothes make a statement." The salesperson hands Dilbert a sweater and says, "This sweater says 'Help me, help me, I look like a big egg!'" Dilbert asks, "Does it come in brown?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #resources, #cow, #egg, #lobby, #counter, #lates, #vegetarians, #health, #link, #Food, #nutrition, #pyramid, #school, #Kids, #different, #learned

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A large man behind a desk says to two overweight men, "We must use all of the resources of the 'Cow and Egg' lobby to counter the latest threat from the vegetarians." The man continues, "Somehow they've managed to link food with health . . . They invented a 'nutrition pyramid' chart and got schools to use it . . ." A teacher points to a chart and says, "Kids, this is a little different from the way I learned it . . ." Meat, milk and beer are at the top of the pyramid and are labeled "bad." The next levels on the pyramid are gravel, bugs; beans, tofu; fruits, vegetables; bread, cereal, grains.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #leader, #vegetarian, #movement, #warning, #cow, #egg, #industry, #retrsopect, #floor, #command, #elevator

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An overweight man enters Dogbert's office and says as he pants and wheezes, "Are you Dogbert, the new leader of the vegetarian movement?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." The man continues to pant as he says, "I have a warning from the cow and egg industry . . . You must ERK!" The man lies on the ground with his feet in the air. Dogbert says, "In retrospect, it was pretty clever of us to rent a third floor command center with no elevator."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #talking, #lab, #cow, #egg, #industry, #discredit, #vegetarian, #movement, #paid, #meat, #healthy, #rat, #ironically, #chokes, #death, #carrot

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Ratbert and Dogbert walk toward each other on the sidewalk. Ratbert says, "Hey, Dogbert, everybody is talking about you at the lab." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Ratbert says, "The 'cow and egg' industry is going to discredit your vegetarian movement. They paid us to prove meat is healthy." Dogbert says, "What's your role?" Ratbert replies, "I play the rat who ironically chokes to death on a carrot during the news conference." Dogbert replies, "Great . . . I'll have to see that on CNN about a jillion times."