Eggs Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

11 Results for Eggs

View 1 - 10 results for eggs comic strips. Discover the best "Eggs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #office, #simile, #eggs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that our cubicles are organized exactly like a carton of eggs. Boss: That feels right because eggs go rotten quickly, too. Dilbert: I already hate my own analogy. Boss: Eggs are overly sensitive, too.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #dawn, #library, #reference, #wondering, #dinosaurs, #eggs, #gross, #telephone

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur says into the phone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" Bob says, "I have this . . . er . . . friend . . . who was wondering how dinosaurs have eggs. Uh-huh." Bob says to Dawn, "It's gross."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #making soup, #highly trained engineer, #sea salt, #regular salt, #marhoram, #parmigiano cheese, #eggs, #hot soup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with a chef's hat and a cookbook. He thinks, "Making soup is easy for a highly trained engineer." Dilbert looks in the cabinet and thinks, "I don't seem to have any 'coarse sea salt.'" Dilbert shakes his salt shaker and thinks, "I'll just mix regular salt with water." Dilbert continues reading and thinks, "Corn starch...that's basically flour." He leans into the refriderator and thinks, "Marjoram...I think that's French for butter." Dilbert continues reading, "'Five inches of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese rind.' Uh-oh." Dilbert looks at eggs and says, "Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens." Dogbert looks at his slice of steaming hot soup and says, "Is this supposed to be served hot?" Dilbert replies, "You're thinking of gazpacho."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eagles not ducks, #eggs, #pre reading

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says,to Dilbert, Wally, Alice, "We must be like eagles, not ducks." Wally says, "For the eggs?" Wally says, "I didn't so the pre-reading."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #upgrade, #unstable network, #risks, #folksy response, #break eggs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The upgrade could make our network unstable. Boss: You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Dilbert: I interpret your folksy response to mean I should upgrade the network despite the risks. Boss: No, I'm saying I'll break your eggs if the network goes down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #costumes, #deception, #downtrodden employee, #awesome person in disguise, #spider eggs, #bosses coffee, #survive, #learned, #knowledge is over rated

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #added up columns, #grocery list, #marketing starategy, #pros and cons, #quantified, #unhealthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bacon and eggs, #breakfast, #breakfast foods, #chicken, #dead pig, #home early, #pig, #meeting, #animals, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arc welder, #barrel of kerosene, #growth on neck, #health plan, #laid eggs, #pregnant termite, #quick search, #to diagnose, #use google

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: The new company health plan is Google. From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses. For example, this guy has a growth on his neck. Guy: I do? Catbert: A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's... Guy: What is it?!! Catbert: Ooh. Wow. A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus. Guy: GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is... Catbert: Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"

Ted Has No Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Has No Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #judgement, #deciding, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.