Eggs Comic Strips
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12 Results for Eggs
View 1 - 10 results for eggs comic strips. Discover the best "Eggs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 03,
2017
Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday November 28,
1990
Tags #bob, #dawn, #library, #reference, #wondering, #dinosaurs, #eggs, #gross, #telephone
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur says into the phone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" Bob says, "I have this . . . er . . . friend . . . who was wondering how dinosaurs have eggs. Uh-huh." Bob says to Dawn, "It's gross."
Sunday December 28,
1997
Tags #making soup, #highly trained engineer, #sea salt, #regular salt, #marhoram, #parmigiano cheese, #eggs, #hot soup
Transcript
Dilbert stands with a chef's hat and a cookbook. He thinks, "Making soup is easy for a highly trained engineer." Dilbert looks in the cabinet and thinks, "I don't seem to have any 'coarse sea salt.'" Dilbert shakes his salt shaker and thinks, "I'll just mix regular salt with water." Dilbert continues reading and thinks, "Corn starch...that's basically flour." He leans into the refriderator and thinks, "Marjoram...I think that's French for butter." Dilbert continues reading, "'Five inches of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese rind.' Uh-oh." Dilbert looks at eggs and says, "Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens." Dogbert looks at his slice of steaming hot soup and says, "Is this supposed to be served hot?" Dilbert replies, "You're thinking of gazpacho."
Thursday January 07,
1999
Tags #eagles not ducks, #eggs, #pre reading
Transcript
The boss says,to Dilbert, Wally, Alice, "We must be like eagles, not ducks." Wally says, "For the eggs?" Wally says, "I didn't so the pre-reading."
Saturday March 02,
2013
Tags #conversation, #upgrade, #unstable network, #risks, #folksy response, #break eggs
Transcript
Dilbert: The upgrade could make our network unstable. Boss: You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Dilbert: I interpret your folksy response to mean I should upgrade the network despite the risks. Boss: No, I'm saying I'll break your eggs if the network goes down.
Monday February 24,
2014
Tags #costumes, #deception, #downtrodden employee, #awesome person in disguise, #spider eggs, #bosses coffee, #survive, #learned, #knowledge is over rated
Transcript
Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.
Wednesday December 09,
2020
Dogbert 5 G Testing
Tags #business, #technology, #5g, #testing, #low-cost, #phone, #prototype, #eggs, #fry, #silly, #qualified, #experts, #safety, #email, #bill
Transcript
tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs. boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts. boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety. dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.
Sunday January 09,
2000
Tags #added up columns, #grocery list, #marketing starategy, #pros and cons, #quantified, #unhealthy
Transcript
Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"
Monday November 24,
2008
Tags #bacon and eggs, #breakfast, #breakfast foods, #chicken, #dead pig, #home early, #pig, #meeting, #animals, #business
Transcript
The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?
Sunday February 18,
2007
Tags #arc welder, #barrel of kerosene, #growth on neck, #health plan, #laid eggs, #pregnant termite, #quick search, #to diagnose, #use google
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: The new company health plan is Google. From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses. For example, this guy has a growth on his neck. Guy: I do? Catbert: A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's... Guy: What is it?!! Catbert: Ooh. Wow. A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus. Guy: GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is... Catbert: Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"