Elbonian Audit Comic Strips
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233 Results for Elbonian Audit
View 1 - 10 results for elbonian audit comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonian Audit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 02,
1997
Tags #elbonian audit, #flexible, #holy week, #more spce, #open minded, #share cubicle, #wedgies
Transcript
The Boss walks up to Dilbert followed by an Elbonian. He says, "You'll need to share your cubicle with the Elbonian audit team until we get some more space." The Boss is surrounded by three elbonians. He says, "This is their holy week so I expect you to be open minded and flexible." Dilbert and the Elbonians are sqeezed into Dilbert's cubicle. Dilbert asks, "How do you celebrate the holy week?" an Elbonian answers, "Wedgies, mostly."
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Monday May 13,
2019
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting
Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat
Transcript
the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...
Wednesday November 20,
2019
Elbonian Spy
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?
Wednesday November 11,
2020
Elbonian Words
Tags #business, #technology, #elbonian, #headquarters, #language, #factory, #Word
Transcript
boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.
Saturday January 02,
2021
Audit Blackmail
Tags #business ethics, #business, #audit, #software, #blackmail, #free, #network, #money, #dollars
Transcript
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.
Thursday February 11,
2021
Elbonian Virus
Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #pandemic, #elbonian, #virus, #kill, #beards, #fuzzy, #hat, #made
Transcript
dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.
Monday February 15,
2021
Internal Audit
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #audit, #accounting, #internal, #shoo, #great, #job
Transcript
auditor: i'll be performing an internal audit of your department. boss: there are no audit problems here because i won't let you look for them. shoo! auditor: that's good enough for me. can you tell my boss i did a great job?
Saturday June 05,
2021
Elbonian Literature Degree
Tags #applicant, #books, #college, #degree, #education, #elbonian, #interview, #language, #major, #test taker, #translation
Transcript
applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.
Monday June 14,
2021
Elbonian Hackers Attack
Tags #business, #business ethics, #elbonian, #hackers, #attack, #stole, #database, #ranking, #employee, #haircuts, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.
Saturday January 29,
2011
Tags #terrorists, #work ethic, #elbonian leftists, #kidnapped, #ransom demands, #three pack tube socks, #carton milk, #six yams, #making life nightmare, #gives in to kidnappers
Transcript
Carol says, "Elbonian leftists kidnapped Asok. They have ransom demands." Carol says, "They want a three-pack of tube socks, a carton of milk, and six yams." The Boss says, "Maybe you could buy that stuff on your way home." Carol says, "You're making my life a nightmare! Just keep him!"