Elbonian Font Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

201 Results for Elbonian Font

View 1 - 10 results for elbonian font comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonian Font" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1997's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #new policy, #official company font, #obscure, #impractical font, #elbonia, #elbonian font

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands at his desk and types, "New policy: all company documents MUST use the official company font . . ." Catbert purrs and thinks, "Let's see . . . What would be the most obscure and impractical font imaginable?" The caption says, "Somewhere in Elbonia." Dilbert tells an Elbonian, "I understand I can get the Elbonian font software from you." The man replies, "Yep. Unless you need consonants for some reason."

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #terrorists, #work ethic, #elbonian leftists, #kidnapped, #ransom demands, #three pack tube socks, #carton milk, #six yams, #making life nightmare, #gives in to kidnappers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Elbonian leftists kidnapped Asok. They have ransom demands." Carol says, "They want a three-pack of tube socks, a carton of milk, and six yams." The Boss says, "Maybe you could buy that stuff on your way home." Carol says, "You're making my life a nightmare! Just keep him!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fear, #terrorists, #viruses, #elbonian kidnappers, #refused ransom pay, #stockholm syndrome, #identifying with captors, #beating up, #contagious

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I thought my Elbonian kidnappers would hold me forever because you refused to pay the ransom." Asok says, "Then the Stockholm effect kicked in. I started identifying with my captors and beating myself." The Boss says, "And they let you go?" Asok says, "Apparently it looked contagious."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fraternization, #bad haircut, #poor font choice, #hand sanitizer, #substance over style

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm judging the quality of your business case by your bad haircut and your poor font choice. I plan to use a quart of hand sanitizer when I'm done touching your document. Man: I value substance over style. Alice: How's that working out?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #crimes, #criminals, #elbonian, #minister of commerce, #leave no eveidence, #connects crime, #bribe him, #kill him

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I need you to bribe an Elbonian minister of commerce and leave no evidence that connects the crime to our company. Dogbert: The only way to do that is to bribe him and kill him at the same time. CEO: I did not think this through. Dogbert: And obviously I'll need to do you first.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #elbonian factory, #hysterical blindness, #hats, #long hats, #elbonian, #conveyor belt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We have a safety problem at our Elbonian factory. We're getting reports of hysterical blindness. They don't what's causing it. Elbonian: I can't see!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2011's comic on:

Tags #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #more green, #ac units, #elastic bands, #hats covered eyes, #don't shoot messenger, #elbonian, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2012's comic on:

Tags #elbonian contract, #legal, #night work, #contract programmmers, #heart attacks

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I want you to manage our Elbonian contract programmers. You'll need to work at night because of the time difference. Wally: People who work at night have more heart attacks. Are you trying to kill me? Boss: Yes, and it's totally legal. Wally: Well played.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1990's comic on:

Tags #pig, #capitalism, #process, #mud, #making, #communism, #elbonian, #elbonia, #Politics, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

An Elbonian asks Dilbert, "How do we know you came to Elbonia just to teach us capitalism?" Another man says, "Yeah . . . Maybe you came to steal our secret process for making mud!!" Dilbert asks, "Dirt and water?" As Dilbert stands in the distance, an Elbonian says, "He knows . . ." The pig says, "We'll have to kill him."