Elbonian Unicorn Comic Strips
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224 Results for Elbonian Unicorn
View 1 - 10 results for elbonian unicorn comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonian Unicorn" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 10,
2001
Tags #animals dna, #clone one, #dont finish, #eating burgers, #elbonian unicorn, #save unicorn dna
Transcript
An Elbonian is holding a tin can tied to a string to his ear. The Elbonia says, "I'm sad to report that our drilling has caused the extinction of the Elbonian unicorn." The boss, at his desk, is on the phone. The boss says, "Save a sample of the animal's DNA so we can clone a new one." The Elbonian with the tin can turns to another Elbonian, who is eating a burger. The first Elbonian says, "Don't finish that."
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Friday May 07,
2004
Tags #elbonian call center, #software in stock, #wear pants, #porcelain unicorn
Transcript
Elbonian Call Center "We don't have that software in stock." "But may I interest you in a set of porcelain unicorn figurines that wear pants?" "Really? Wow. Your country has way too much money."
Monday April 09,
2001
Tags #discovered oil, #wild life perserve, #elbonian, #endangered species, #no impact, #drilled unicorn, #dead, #animals, #drill fields
Transcript
The Boss: we've discovered oil in the Elbonian wild life preserve. DOnt worry about the endangered species. Our drilling will have no impact. ELbonian: oops
Thursday March 28,
2019
Dating A Unicorn
Tags #business, #dating, #office, #office workers, #unicorn
Transcript
ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.
Monday May 13,
2019
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting
Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat
Transcript
the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...
Wednesday November 20,
2019
Elbonian Spy
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?
Wednesday November 11,
2020
Elbonian Words
Tags #business, #technology, #elbonian, #headquarters, #language, #factory, #Word
Transcript
boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.
Thursday February 11,
2021
Elbonian Virus
Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #pandemic, #elbonian, #virus, #kill, #beards, #fuzzy, #hat, #made
Transcript
dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.
Saturday June 05,
2021
Elbonian Literature Degree
Tags #applicant, #books, #college, #degree, #education, #elbonian, #interview, #language, #major, #test taker, #translation
Transcript
applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.
Monday June 14,
2021
Elbonian Hackers Attack
Tags #business, #business ethics, #elbonian, #hackers, #attack, #stole, #database, #ranking, #employee, #haircuts, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.