Eliminating Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

7 Results for Eliminating

View 1 - 7 results for eliminating comic strips. Discover the best "Eliminating" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #eliminating, #simple, #caused, #people, #invisible, #juan, #cindy, #kill, #them, #motivational, #speaking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He says to the audience, "The Dogbert method of eliminating guilt is quite simple." Dogbert continues, "All of your problems are caused by invisible people named Juan and Cindy." Dogbert continues, "All you have to do is find them and kill them."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #organization, #protection, #ugly, #people, #donation, #membership, #drive, #recognize, #arm chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hears someone knocking on his door. Dilbert opens the door and a man says, "Hi. I'm from the 'Organization for the Protection of Ugly People.'" The man continues, "We are dedicated to eliminating the stereotype of ugly people as 'smart' and 'nice.'" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll make a donation." The man says, "Thanks, but this is a membership drive . . ." Dilbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'm never going to answer the door again." Dogbert asks, "He didn't recognize you as his god?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #having massive layoffs, #new server, #reorganization, #three divisons

View Transcript

Transcript

You'll want our new server software after your reorganization. "Reorganization?" "Next week you're having massive layoffs and eliminating three divisions." "Your "I haven't heard anything" face needs works."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new philosophy, #a bias for action, #six sigma program, #iso certification

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our new philosophy is 'a bias for action'. Dilbert: Are we eliminating our Six-Sigma program, the budget cycle, ISO certification, and our approval processes? The Boss: Can I get back to you on that? Dilbert: Sure. No rush.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business people, #managers & supervisors, #holacarcy, #underlings, #abusing for years, #boot on neck, #resistance to changes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm eliminating all management levels and making us a holacracy. Boss: Noooo!!! Please don't make me equal to the underlings I've been abusing for years! In my defense, I thought I would always have my boot on your neck. Dilbert: Shush.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.

Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #life, #office, #office workers, #panic, #overwhelmed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done. Boss: Have you tried eliminating your personal life? Dilbert: That took care of itself. Boss: Okay, that's the only idea I had.