Emailed Documents Comic Strips

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60 Results for Emailed Documents

View 1 - 10 results for emailed documents comic strips. Discover the best "Emailed Documents" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #documents, #emailed documents, #end users, #now work, #poor arting, #technical documents, #performance rating, #seventy hours, #open attachments

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The Boss says, "Tina, I have to give you a performance rating of 'Poor' because you did no work this year." Tina exclaims, "No work?" Tina says, "I wrote hundreds of technical documents this year!" Tina continues to The Boss, "I worked seventy hours a week!" Tina continues, "I e-mailed every one of the documents to you..." Tina continues, "... With instructions to forward them with your approval to the end users." The Boss says, "That reminds me: I don't know how to open attachments." Tina says to Dilbert, "Why didn't you tell me you never got my documents?" Dilbert asks, "Who are you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #executives, #work ethic, #enginner, #no budget, #emailed, #ceo, #social network, #global supply chain

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Dilbert: So... you emailed our CEO and asked for funds to build a social network for our global supply chain. Dilbert: No one wants that, But it sounds good, so he moved all of our project funding to your dumb idea. and...you will produce nothing, Wally: said the engineer with no budget.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies

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Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble

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Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #decison, #emailed, #definition, #sarcasm, #internet, #technology

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Dilbert: I need something called a "decision." You might not know what that word means, so I emailed you a link to its definition. How did people do sarcasm before the internet? Wally: Maybe they didn't need to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #paper burning stove, #lower heating bills, #useless documents, #love your work, #warm feeling

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Dilbert installs a stove while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I'm installing a paper-burning stove to lower our heating bills." Dilbert says, "I'll fuel it with all the useless documents I get at work." At the office, the Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of papers and asks, "I've been noticing how much stuff you take home. You must love your work." Dilbert replies, "It gives me a warm feeling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #volume of work, #quiet leadership, #inspires us, #promote, #manager, #work ethic, #use documents, #heat house, #job offering, #writing

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The Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of paper and says, "We've all noticed the volume of work you carry around. Your quiet leadership inspires us." The Boss continues, "I'd like to promote you to manager so you can imbue others with your work ethic." At home, Dilbert loads the paper into the furnace while Dogbert watches. Dogbert asks, "Does he know you use the documents to heat our house?" Dilbert replies, "No. And I asked him to put the job offer in writing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #own company, #Dogbert, #trim middle management, #fire anyone, #fyi on documents, #fyi files in barrel

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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #records retention, #valuable documents, #stored, #so much easier, #asks for anything

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Dilbert approaches a door that is labeled, "Records Retention." In the Records Retention Office, Dilbert hands a pile of documents to the librarian and says, "These valuable documents should be stored for five years." As he throws the documents in the trash bin, the librarian thinks, "This job got so much easier when I realized that nobody ever asks for anything back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #proprietary documents, #cubicle, #competitors, #utilize synergy

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The Boss stands in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've got to lock up these proprietary documents you have in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "If our competitors see our plans, it could be very dangerous." Alice asks, "For us or for them?" The captions reads, "The Competitors." A man reads a document and says, "Ooh! Look! They're planning to 'utilize synergy.' We're in trouble now!" Another man laughs and a woman says, "Stop! You're killing me!!"