Embrace Comic Strips
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10 Results for Embrace
View 1 - 10 results for embrace comic strips. Discover the best "Embrace" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 13,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #public speaking, #questioning, #embrace failures, #learn from them
Transcript
Boss: We must embrace our failures and learn from them. Alice: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Wally: How's the learning coming along?
Tuesday May 04,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #embrace, #change, #management fad, #alice, #Wally, #pass, #quickly, #linger, #stench, #newsletter
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, ". . . Companies must learn to embrace change." The employees all think, "Uh-oh. It's another management fad." They all think, "Will it pass quickly or will it linger like the stench of a dead woodchuck under the porch?" The Boss says, "I think we should do a 'change' newsletter." The employees think, "Woodchuck."
Saturday April 12,
2008
Tags #matt the temp, #fully embrace, #Catbert, #temp concept, #temp, #find down cable
Transcript
Matt the temp The boss: Our parking lot flooded after the big storm. I need you to wade out there and find our downed power cables." He seems to fully embrace the temp concept. Fzeet!
Sunday September 01,
1996
Tags #two day workshop, #mission, #vision, #useless jargon, #illiterate execustives, #mind numbing, #job security, #ethical behavior, #better idea, #high marks, #class evalutaion
Transcript
A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives." The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ." The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security." The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you." Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation." The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me." The man replies, "You wish."
Friday May 18,
2001
Tags #terrific conversationalit, #write code, #while you complain, #embraced, #date, #end of date, #kiss good night, #hug, #mean things, #said
Transcript
Dilbert is dropping his date off after a date. She says, "Thanks for taking me to dinner. You're a terrific conversationalist." Noriko and Dilbert embrace as Dilbert says, "With you, it's easy." They are about to kiss when Dilbert continues, "I discovered that I can write code in my head as you complain about your job all night."
Saturday July 21,
2001
Tags #total sociopath, #rifle through purse, #call me, #ring once, #robbed, #date, #hug, #robbery
Transcript
Alice and Ron are saying their goodbyes next to Ron's car. They're headed towards an embrace. Alice says, "You're a total sociopath, Ron. I like that in a man." As they're hugging, Ron's hand is in Alice's purse. She cries, "Oh yes, rifle through my purse! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Ron heads back to his car. Alice calls after him, "Call me?" Ron responds while counting the money he's just stolen from her, "Sure. But you'd better wait by the phone; I only ring once."
Monday November 08,
2004
Tags #consultation, #enbrace idea, #frees your mid, #profitable products, #ultra donut, #40 thousand calories, #sharp objects
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Once you embrace the idea that your customers deserve to die... ...it frees your mind to invent splendidly profitable products. Its called the ultra - donut: forty thousand calories and filled with sharp objects.
Monday October 29,
2012
Tags #director of change, #employees, #management, #managers & supervisors, #strategies, #business
Transcript
Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.
Sunday September 15,
2013
Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #product changes, #change orders, #new features, #online change order system, #old forms, #change order, #managemet, #better plan, #business
Transcript
Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.
Sunday December 13,
2015
Tags #change, #fear, #power, #executives, #decision, #threat, #hypocrisy
Transcript
CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!