Employee Birthday Parties Comic Strips
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552 Results for Employee Birthday Parties
View 1 - 10 results for employee birthday parties comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Birthday Parties" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 23,
2004
Tags #competitors, #tired, #unfocused, #pester, #endless series, #charity request, #employee birthday parties, #blood drives, #can't focus
Transcript
dogcart: "I can make your competitors tired and unfocused." "I'll pester them with an endless series of charity requests, employee birthday parties and blood drives." "I know it works because they paid me to do it to you." The boss: "So... tired... can't... focus..."
Monday June 08,
2015
Scott's Birthday Cake
Tags #joy, #joyless, #cruelty, #birthday, #cynicism, #cynic
Transcript
Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.
Saturday March 26,
2011
Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet
Transcript
Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"
Friday May 27,
2011
Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #surveillance, #security, #employee locator device, #smarthone, #questions, #text to yourself
Transcript
Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.
Wednesday October 05,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #employees, #employee of month, #october 1929, #room to grow, #past date, #past month, #business
Transcript
Boss: Congratulations, Asok. I'm naming you employee of the month. Your month is October 1929. Room to grow.
Saturday April 07,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #agreements, #deals, #existence, #empire, #seem larger, #paycheck, #fair plan, #awful world, #balckmail, #boss, #employee
Transcript
Wally: IF you agree to give me no work, I will agree to not sue you with some sort of bogus employee claim. My existence will make your empire seem larger, and stockholders will get stuck with the bill for my paycheck. Boss: Why does that seem like a fair plan? Wally: We live in an awful world.
Friday June 08,
2012
Tags #birthdays, #collecting money, #birthday present, #acquaintance price, #chart, #used gum, #lint, #bent staples
Transcript
Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?
Saturday June 09,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #employee parking, #inconvenience, #by design, #personal errands, #intention suffering
Transcript
Dilbert: The employee parking situation is terrible. I had to park a mile away. Catbert: That's by design. The inconvenience removes your temptation to run personal errands during the day. Dilbert: You're intentionally making my life more difficult? Catbert: What do you think management is?
Wednesday August 09,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #puns, #earrings, #mom, #birthday, #stones, #amethyst
Transcript
Dilbert opens a jewelry box and asks Dogbert, "Do you like these earrings I bought for Mom's birthday?" Dogbert asks, "What kind of stones are they?" Dilbert answers, "Amethyst." Dogbert says, "Didn't they have any that believe in God?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Dogbert walks away saying, "Puns! Never apologize, never explain."
Saturday October 21,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nature, #hate, #birthday party, #protection
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert asks, "You know what I hate?" Dogbert asks, "What?" Dilbert continues, "I hate it when hundreds of people get together and throw a surprise birthday party for me." Dogbert responds, "It's amazing how nature protects us from the things we hate."