Employees Quit Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

667 Results for Employees Quit

View 1 - 10 results for employees quit comic strips. Discover the best "Employees Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no downsizing, #job is safe, #quality good news, #going downhill

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Good news, Wally. Most of our smart employees quit to get much better jobs elsewhere. Now we don't have to do any downsizing." The Boss continues, "Your job is safe. We need you to do the work of all the people who left." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Is it just me . . . or is the quality of 'good news' really going downhill lately?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say you're both going downhill."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catbert hr driector, #new employees, #always quit, #reapply, #old job, #higher salary, #catnip, #rubbing body

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #gloating, #quit working, #won lotery, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #enough people quit, #best startegy, #convince coworkers, #video, #exact moment, #life force, #leaves body

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."

13 Percent Employees Engaged

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
13 Percent Employees Engaged - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #employees, #engagement, #motivation, #global survey, #engaged at work, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.

Homeless Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #confused, #employees, #customer service

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?

Try Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #boss, #compliment, #criticism, #ego, #employees, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.