Engine Purr Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

24 Results for Engine Purr

View 1 - 10 results for engine purr comic strips. Discover the best "Engine Purr" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags twins, meeting, clone, cooler clone, clear view, engine purr, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Is it awkward being in the same meeting as a cooler version of yourself? Scoot back so I can get a clear view. This guy really makes my engine purr. A little more.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pantless weasel, search engine, optimization, game the system, accomplice, corrupt integrity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a pantless weasel yo do our search engine optimization. Boss: He'll help us gas the system and corrupt the integrity of all internet search results for our industry. Boss: Your new job title is "accomplice"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice performance, needs supervision, protest, evil, purr

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to The Boss, "Write on Alice's performance review, 'Needs too much supervision.'" Catbert continues, "When she goes to your office to protest, say, 'See what I mean?'" Catbert finishes, "Ooh! That was so evil I need to purr with my lips!" He spits all over the boss while purring, "P-p-p-urr.. p-p-p-urrr.. p-p-p-p-urr."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, evil director, severance package, spittle, laugh, purr, bad package, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of Human Resources. "What kind of severance package do I get?" "I can't decide if I should laugh or purr, but there's definitely spittle in your future." "This is a bad package." "PURRRR-HA-HA HA-PURRRRR-HA HA-PURRRR!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, fake websites, gullibility, idiopathy epidemic, internet & world wide web, search engine, slap the victim

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I've learned to control reality by creating fake websites and doing search engine optimization. Boss: Did you hear about the idiopathy epidemic? They symptoms include pointy hair and gullibility. The only treatment is for someone else to slap the victim. Alice: Ask for it like you mean it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goal, rewrite law, supply & demand, toss a purr

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Asok: I need a goal. What can I do to get a raise? Catbert: Try rewriting the law of supply and demand. Asok: Harsh. Catbert: I have to toss a purr your way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, inventions, google search engine, existing prodcuts, crushing dreams, new invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crimes, internet & world wide web, black hat, websites ranking, search engine, unethical, near certainty, loserish, talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, school, common, sense, story, clayton, auto, mechanic, cigars, gasoline, engine, lightning, guess

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in a dark classroom holding a pointer and using an overhead projector. Dogbert says, "This is the story of Clayton the Auto Mechanic." Dogbert continues, "Clayton smoked cigars while working on gasoline engines. What problem did this cause?" The projector shows an explosion. A man wrapped in bandages says, "He was hit by lightning every time?" Dogbert asks, "Does anybody beside Clayton have a guess?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clean, date, work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."