Enjoys Head Pat Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
583 Results for Enjoys Head Pat
View 1 - 10 results for enjoys head pat comic strips. Discover the best "Enjoys Head Pat" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 13,
2013
Tags #executives, #flattery, #happiness, #underlings, #achievemnets, #warrants praise, #under budget, #head pat, #boss, #enjoys head pat, #psychology
Transcript
CEO: I read an article that says leaders should acknowledge the achievements of their underlings. Have you done anything lately that warrants some praise? Boss: Well... I'm under budget because I forgot to staff one of our projects. CEO: Okay, I can work with that. Now I think I'm supposed to pat you on the head or something. Let's try that and see how we feel. Stop leaning in. Boss: Feels... so... good.
Sunday June 13,
1999
Tags #ideas, #naive, #whats wrong, #pat your head, #condescending, #empty handed
Transcript
Dilbert stands in the boss' office. Dilbert says, "So that's my idea. What do you think?" The boss says, "Dilbert, you are so naive." The boss says, "There are many things you don't understand." Dilbert says, "That's because you never tell me anything!" The boss says, "Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert.." Dilbert says, "Like now for example!" Dilbert says, "Jeepers Cripes! Just tell me what is wrong with my idea!" The boss motions to the side of his desk and says, "LEan over here so I can pat your head in a condescending way." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on their couch at home. Dogbert says, "So you took the pat?" Dilbert says, "I didn't want to leave empty-handed"
Tuesday August 29,
2017
Pat Yourself On The Head
Tags #reward, #prizes, #reimbursement, #expense report
Transcript
Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.
Friday August 21,
2020
5 G Gives You A Bird Head
Tags #business, #technology, #social media, #bird head, #study, #apathy, #5g
Transcript
dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.
Friday January 28,
2011
Tags #act nervous, #air travel, #airport security, #guards, #more invasive, #new pat down, #procedures, #situations, #sleeper cell, #terrorits, #tsa, #molestation
Transcript
Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security
Sunday October 09,
2011
Tags #anger, #frustration, #matrix comparing features, #skin in game, #bang head, #cause extra work, #value of time, #ninja economics
Transcript
Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!
Friday December 09,
2011
Tags #anger, #annoyance, #wrong side of bed, #bat like, #wrapped around body, #funnier in head
Transcript
Alice: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Wally: Were you hanging from the bottom with your wings wrapped around your body? That was funnier inside my head.
Thursday April 19,
2012
Tags #conversation, #huge head, #parade float, #pasty skin, #communication, #over rated
Transcript
Tina: I just noticed you head is huge. Alice: I never noticed it before, but now all I see is a parade float made out of pasty skin. Dilbert: Communication is overrated. Dogbert: I'm feeling that right now.
Friday April 27,
2012
Tags #accomodate cup, #coffe cup, #head flattened, #job interview, #monkey, #surgically flattened, #starbucks, #barista, #animals
Transcript
wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,
Thursday August 24,
1989
Tags #care, #people, #think, #head, #shaped, #torpedo, #wright brothers
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "You shouldn't care so much about what other people think of your work." Dogbert continues, "I mean, everybody scoffed at the Wright Brothers. Galileo was jailed. Columbus was ridiculed." Dogbert continues, "'Course, none of those guys had a head shaped like a torpedo."