Epic Mini Series Comic Strips
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24 Results for Epic Mini Series
View 1 - 10 results for epic mini series comic strips. Discover the best "Epic Mini Series" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 31,
1996
Tags #barry, #epic mini series, #hundreds of hours, #quitters, #retrospect, #special bonus, #staring at computer
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "It's my honor to present this special bonus check to Barry." Alice turns to the man next to her and says, "That's you." The man stares straight ahead as he replies, "MY name is Barry??" The Boss says, "This is for working hundreds of hours of overtime." The Boss continues, "While you quitters were going home by 9 pm every night . . ." The Boss continues, "Barry remained at work staring at his computer for hours." Barry eats the bonus check. The Boss continues, "It's important to recognize extra effort." The Boss continues, "Sadly, that's the end of the special bonus budget for the year." Barry burps. Wally says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have told Barry that his screen saver is an epic miniseries." Dilbert and Alice glare at him.
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Sunday April 03,
2011
Tags #executives, #interviews, #ceo's interview series, #company priftable, #credit, #overpaid and useless, #dumb employees, #highest bidder, #blackmail, #interview
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I don't like people." Dogbert says, "What makes your company so profitable?" CEO says, "I give all of the credit to our fine employees." Dogbert says, "Is that another way of saying you're overpaid and useless?" CEO says, "Um... no. I'm their leader. I set the direction." Dogbert says, "Because the employees are too dumb to set their own direction?" CEO says, "No! They're smart!" Dogbert says, "But not as smart as you?" CEO says, "Who's going to see this?" Dogbert says, "No one, assuming you're the highest bidder." Dogbert's CEO Interview Series
Wednesday July 31,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #lecture, #series, #guilt, #cope, #paid
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. Dogbert says to the audience, "Welcome to the Dogbert Lecture Series on guilt." Dogbert continues, "In the next hour, you will learn how to cope with guilt the Dogbert way." Dogbert continues, "And if you don't, well, it turns out I get paid anyway."
Tuesday October 27,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #management, #series, #hour, #late, #lecture, #across, #town, #complete, #jobs, #cattle, #rub, #moo
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He addresses the audience, "Welcome to the 'Dogbert Time Management Lecture Series.'" Dogbert continues, "Sorry I'm an hour late, but I was giving another lecture across town . . . In effect, I'll complete two jobs while you sit in the dark like stunned cattle." Dogbert looks down at the audience and says, "I don't mean to rub it in, but mooo . . . "
Monday January 10,
1994
Tags #sharing meeting, #project, #pathetic series, #poorly planned, #random acts, #emotional desparation, #things are fine, #need a hug
Transcript
The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."
Wednesday July 05,
2000
Tags #assignment, #confronts lulu, #dilbert confronts lulu, #huge crisis, #series of crisises, #smite, #static guard, #god softening
Transcript
LULU: come help me on this assignment. Its a huge crisis! Dilbert: LULU, DO you very wonder why your life is a series of crises? LULU: I assume god is softening me up before smiting me. Dilbert: excuse me while I put on my static guard.
Wednesday June 20,
2001
Tags #5 dollars per night, #mini bar, #motion detector, #three hundred, #charged near it, #long night
Transcript
Dilbert stands at a hotel concierge desk. The desk attendant says, "The room costs five dollars a night." The attendant continues, saying, "The mini-bar has a motion detector; you will be charged three hundred dollars everytime you get within eight feet of it." The room is small and the mini-bar is in the center of the room. Dilbert crouches in the corner of his room next to his bed, thinking, "This is going to be a long night."
Monday February 23,
2004
Tags #competitors, #tired, #unfocused, #pester, #endless series, #charity request, #employee birthday parties, #blood drives, #can't focus
Transcript
dogcart: "I can make your competitors tired and unfocused." "I'll pester them with an endless series of charity requests, employee birthday parties and blood drives." "I know it works because they paid me to do it to you." The boss: "So... tired... can't... focus..."
Wednesday March 19,
2008
Tags #breaks down, #cries, #date, #endless stories, #huge defects, #restaurant, #series of stoires, #soul crushed
Transcript
Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!
Sunday July 27,
2003
Tags #surplussed ted, #absorb function, #2 jobs one salary, #absorb his funtion, #osmosis, #symbiosis, #syneregy, #key learning, #tragic series, #monkey brained
Transcript
"I surplussed Ted. You'll need to absorb his function." "Absorb his function?" "Are you telling me to do two jobs for one salary?" "No, I'm telling you to absorb his function.. in an absorptive fashion." "..Using osmosis, symbiosis, and synergy." "Can you change reality by inventing new names for ordinary things?" "I sure hope so. Otherwise my entire career has been a.. a.." "Tragic series of monkey-brained mistakes?" "Key learning."