Eureka Program Comic Strips

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129 Results for Eureka Program

View 1 - 10 results for eureka program comic strips. Discover the best "Eureka Program" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, eureka program, best ideas, dry hole, dude ranch

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Boss: We are introducing our "Eureka Program" to recognize that the best ideas come from employees. Wally: I have ideas? Boss: Well, that was a dry hole. Wally: Can I turn my cubicle into a dude ranch?

Dilbert Characters

Computers Program Humans

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Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robots, program, intelligence, control, medication, medicine, pill, technology, power

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Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, program website, collect browser hostory, invent device, sense of right and wrong

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The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, ignorance (knowledge), fire wally, can't risk, zeberpupin system, only one, program, business

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Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, executive program, relocate, vindictive, stress, loser, turn down opportunity, train, discomfort, underlings

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Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, inventions, computers, program themsleves, machine intelligence, destroy civilization, plan a, live unhealthy, lifestyle, plan b, techno terrorism

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Dilbert: In a few years, computers will program themselves. That's called singularity. From that point on, machine intelligence will increase exponentially. The resulting shock will probably destroy the fabric of civilization. Plan "A" is to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Plan "B" is techno-terrorism. Boss: I like the first one.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags military policy, missile program, orphanage, roof of orphange, test missle, elbonia

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Elbonian: Our missile program is the pride of Elbonia! Yesterday we launched a test missile that went a hundred yards before ripping the roof off an orphanage. Dogbert: You test your missiles near orphans? Elbonian: What are the odds they'd be unlucky three times?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, computer, program, pick-up line, mel gibson, savage

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, who is sitting next to him, "I've designed this program to generate the most effective pick-up line in the universe." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! Women will be helpless when they hear my clever opener. . . . And the line is . . ." Dilbert reads on the screen, "Hi. I'm Mel Gibson. Did you see a dingo dog go by here with my shirt?" Dogbert says, "Kiss me, you wicked savage."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, soviet, exchange program, nikita dogachev

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Dilbert: ...so to do our part for east-west relations... I've decided to host a dog from the soviet exchange program. Dogbert: What? Dilbert: Dogbert, I'd like you to meet Nikita Nikita Dorgachev. Dogbert: Charmed.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, micheal, cover, charge, two, bits, computer, program, engineering

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Dilbert: Uh-oh! I'm being sucked into my own computer program! I've always feared this... Michael: Hi, I'm Michael-- Michael Chip.