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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2004's comic on:

Tags #poorly designed product, #ever been killed, #tainted research

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"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2011's comic on:

Tags #inventions, #managers & supervisors, #portal, #parallel uiverse, #more prodcutive, #universe, #cops, #alice killed boss, #business

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Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #courage, #electronic mail, #thinking, #greatest idea ever, #email

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Bad decision 1 Dilbert: This is the greatest idea ever. Why does it look so dumb when I put it in email? I'll sort it out later.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #michael, #microchip, #coffee, #killed, #all, #consumerism

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Dilbert gets sucked into his computer. Dilbert: You.. You're a microchip... Michael: I am. C'mon in and have some coffee. Dilbert: Chips drink coffee? Michael: Gallons. It keeps us fast. Dilbert: Doesn't that make you irritable with the other microchips? Michael: Not since I killed them all.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #cop, #Dilbert, #hunted, #killed, #wild, #deer, #fingerprints, #evidence

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Dogbert answers the front door and asks, "Yes?" A police officer says, "Mr. Dogbert, I have bad news." The policeman continues, "It appears that Dilbert was hunted down and killed by wild deer." The officer continues, "We think it was a professional job; they didn't leave fingerprints."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #dreamed, #killed, #deer, #recipe, #carne, #nightmare, #death, #chile con carne

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Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Ugh . . . Gosh, what a nightmare." Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, I just dreamed Dilbert was killed by deer, and all he left me was his recipe for chile con carne." Bob says, "Bad news . . ." Dogbert asks, "He's really dead?" Bob replies, "And his chile con carne stinks."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #rich, #money, #wallow, #mud, #puddle, #bored, #ever, #get

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Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I love being rich." Dogbert says to a passerby, "I'll give you ten thousand dollars if you wallow in that mud puddle." As the man lies face down in the mud, Dogbert says, "I don't see how rich people ever get bored."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #high school, #yearbook, #brings, #memories, #dopey, #noober, #flagpole, #live, #frogs, #pants, #principal, #happiest, #guy, #ever, #known

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Dilbert leans against the hassock looking at a yearbook. Dilbert says, "This high school yearbook really brings back the memories." Dilbert shows Dogbert the yearbook and says, "There's Dopey Bobby Noober. Every day we'd tie him to the flagpole and stuff live frogs in his pants." Dogbert asks, "Where is he now?" Dilbert replies, "He's still the principal . . . Not the happiest guy I've ever known."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #famous, #jail, #killed, #lawyer, #prison, #rich, #satisfy, #snores

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Dogbert: Dogbert's jail for the rich and famous aims to satisfy all of your prison needs. Man: Could you arrange to have my lawyer killed? He snores.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #floyd, #killed, #Wally, #alice, #first, #aid, #ambulance, #firstaid, #phone, #ted

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Wally, Ted and Alice confront Dilbert. Alice says, "We heard you killed Floyd, our unbearable co-worker, yesterday." Dilbert replies, "No. I was there, but he choked on his own bile." Alice asks, "What did you do - perform First Aid? Call an ambulance?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know First Aid." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Can I use your phone?"