Every Bird Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

484 Results for Every Bird

View 1 - 10 results for every bird comic strips. Discover the best "Every Bird" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bird poop, #cars, #incentives, #mass transit, #punishment, #worst employee of the month, #special parking spot, #big tree, #every bird, #firemans axe, #wallow in shame, #incentives dont work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You've been named worst employee of the month. The honor comes with a special parking spot. It's under the big tree that every bird in the county uses as a restroom. By the end of the day, you'll need a fireman's axe just to find the door handle. As you chop your way toward the inner core that is your car, think about how you could have worked harder this month. You'll probably draw a crowd in the parking lot so remember to wallow in your shame. Wally: I take mass transit to work. Boss: Incentives don't work.

View more books now

Drone Defense Kills Birds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #drone, #national security, #design, #birds, #flying, #collateral damage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee of week, #hose off, #company hose, #landing pad, #helicopter, #bird droppings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, you've been named 'Employee of the Week!'" "The title gives you access to the executive helicopter landing pad on the roof." "And by 'access' I mean you hose off the bird droppings every morning." Asok: "I get to use the company hose!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information, #screen saver, #modified, #seconds of inactivity, #head bobbing bird

View Transcript

Transcript

"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology. I have modified your screensaver security to lock up after two seconds of inactivity." "Ha ha! Unless you touch the keyboard every two seconds you will be forced to log-in again!" "Dang you perpetually moving head-bobbing bird! Gaaa!!!"

5 G Gives You A Bird Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
5 G Gives You A Bird Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #social media, #bird head, #study, #apathy, #5g

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #vaccinnations, #wicked case, #disease, #heat, #every seven years, #kill me!

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My doctor says I have a wicked case of Pop Farr. Its when vulcans and engineers go into gear every seven years. Alice: Im pretty sure, I don't care but let me check my calendar just in case... Alice: Someone kill me! Now Now! Now! continued

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #stop level meeting, #confidentail, #retribution, #every day retribution

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your annual skip-level meeting with my boss is next week. Everything you say about me is confidential. But just to be on the safe side, I scheduled my retribution for every day of the following year.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #discussion, #researching every state, #engineer, #solemn duty, #stamp out ignorance, #real thing, #googled it, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Please stop researching every statement I make. Dilbert: I can't. As an engineer, it is my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance. Woman: That's not a real thing. Dilbert: See for yourself. I just Googled it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #formula, #impress, #bird, #house, #conquered, #gravity, #waly, #hum, #weekend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert floats through the air with a propeller strapped to his back. He thinks, "My anti-gravity formula should really impress the guys at work." Wally says, "I built a bird house this weekend." Dilbert says, "I conquered gravity." Another man says, "I taught myself to hum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #department, #machines, #filled, #bird, #bobs, #head, #three, #birds, #job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've decided to replace your department with machines." The Boss points to a toy on the desk and says, "Your job will be filled by this little bird that bobs his head up and down." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then I said 'Ha! It would take at least THREE of those birds to do MY job!"