Every Few Minutes Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

753 Results for Every Few Minutes

View 1 - 10 results for every few minutes comic strips. Discover the best "Every Few Minutes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #your cucbicle, #connect network, #stop by, #every few minutes, #the boss, #emplyee

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #certified massage therapist, #clicking, #every week, #few minutes, #lengthy questionarie, #one hand, #pen pal, #used pen

View Transcript

Transcript

Certified Massage Therapist "Fill out this lengthy medical questionnaire." "That'll save me a few minutes of touching him." "I wonder if he'd know if I only used one hand." "Actually, how would he even know if it's a hand?" "Maybe I have an object here that feels like a hand." "This ballpoint pen will work." "I'm finding some tension here. Okay, it's gone now." "She says I should come back every week until my muscles stop clicking." "Sounds like you found a pen pal."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #layoff list, #Wally, #claimed chair, #few minutes ago, #hard on survivors

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Wally, "I hear you're on the layoff list, Wally. Has anyone claimed your chair yet?" A man says, "I claimed it a few minutes ago." Ted yells, "Liar!" As the two men fight, Wally says, "I guess it's true what they say about layoffs being hard on the survivors."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #alice, #cell phone, #every two minutes, #flushable, #owner wonders where, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting in her cubicle. On the other side of the wall, a cell phone makes the noises, "Beep-beep-a-beep-beep-a-beep." Alice thinks, "Every two minutes." Alice looks into the next cubicle and and clenches her teeth at the cell phone lying there. A coworker approaches Alice and asks, "Have you seen my cell phone?" Alice responds, "Was it metallic, noisy and flushable?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #audit, #150 million, #software system, #scrap entire thing, #worthless, #norma software system, #clever combo, #tweak it, #sell the zeros, #few minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I completed the audit of your new $150 million software system." "I recommend that you scrap the entire thing." "What?!! How could the entire thing be worthless?" "Well, your normal software system would be a clever combination of ones and zeros." "Yours is all ones." "There must be some way to tweak it until it works." "My company can sell you all the zeros you need. But you'll have to arrange them yorself." "Whe you have a few minutes, I have a little assignment for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #worer, #40 million a year, #400 x worker pay, #salary, #disparity, #golden egg, #every ten minutes, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #late for meeting, #reschedule, #10 minutes, #late

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late for our 10:50 meeting. Wally: We'll have to reschedule because I have another meeting at eleven. Tina: Reschedule? I'm only ten minutes late! Wally: Tell that to my 11:10.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #obstinacy, #office workers, #whiteboard, #conference room, #prohject timeline, #zombie reflex mode

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Don't clean the whiteboard in the conference room. It has my project timeline. Janitor: I can't promise that. I slip into a sort of zombie reflex mode when I do this job. Dilbert: I envy you. Janitor: Would you like a few minutes to say goodbye to your timeline?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #experimental medical procedures, #unicron, #antidepressant, #therapy, #instructions, #will make laugh, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pionts a big ray gun like machine at Alice, Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "Our new line of business is testing experimental medical procedures on employees." Alice, Dilbert and Wally look shocked. The Boss says, "Today's test is called the unicorn antidepressant therapy." The Boss fiddles with the machine. The Boss says, "According to the instructions, in a few minutes, I'll see something that will make me laugh." Alice looks upward at a bump beginning to grow on her forhead. Dilbert and Wally put their hands to their brows.