Search Results for "everyone happy"
Share April 13, 1998's comic on:
Ed tells Wally, "I just gave my two-week notice." Wally screams, "Yes! Yes! The arrogant obstructionist bore is history!" Ed says, "Everyone seems to be taking this rather well." Wally shouts, "Count me in for the goodbye lunch!"
Share January 14, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: It's too hard to keep everyone informed about everything. I've decided to take you out of the loop. Wally: Really?? Now I know what fathers mean when they talk about witnessing the birth of their children. Dilbert: Lucky!
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Share May 07, 2011's comic on:
Bob In Procurement Dinosaur: I need the signed original contract to process your order. Dilbert: Because we're in the Middle Ages? Dinosaur: Ouch! Your stinging sarcasm has embarrassed me into saying I will accept a faxed copy. Are we good now? Dilbert: Absolutely. Because the 1950s is a happy time.
Share December 31, 2011's comic on:
Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.
Share October 26, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert pushes a shopping cart through a grocery store. A clerk says, "Hold it right there, fella!" Dilbert turns around and says, "Uh-oh . . . You must have seen me eat that grape in aisle 'B.'" The clerk responds, "I just want to make sure you pay for it." Dilbert lies on the scale at the cash register. The clerk says, "Looks like 192 pounds. What were you before you came in?" Dilbert replies, "Happy."
Share March 19, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"
Share January 15, 1992's comic on:
A man wearing a robe and holding a wine glass asks Dilbert, "What are you in for?" Dilbert says angrily, "I live here!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "This is my house! My dog turned it into a jail-for-profit without my permission!" The man walks away saying, "Man, you're the wrong guy to talk to during 'happy hour.'"
Share August 01, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I thought I was happy . . ." Dilbert continues, "Then I thought what if I only THINK I'm happy but I'm not. Maybe I've been hypnotized and don't even know it." Dilbert continues, "Worrying about it made me unhappy, which means I must NOT be under hypnosis, so I'm happy." Dogbert replies, "Maybe I only THINK you're talking but really I'm happy."
Share August 07, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert and Ratbert stand outdoors. Dogbert shows Ratbert a can of peanut butter and says, "It's a miracle, Ratbert. The image of Saint Ted appeared in my jar of peanut butter!" Ratbert asks, "Saint Ted? Who ever heard of Saint Ted? Couldn't you get Saint Theresa?" Dogbert replies, "She was booked to a can of varnish in Upstate New York." Ratbert says, "Saint Ted looks like a 'happy face.'"