Everyone Invited Comic Strips
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321 Results for Everyone Invited
View 1 - 10 results for everyone invited comic strips. Discover the best "Everyone Invited" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 12,
2007
Tags #dinner set up, #key, #everyone invited, #expect carol, #key employees, #mints
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, set up a dinner for all key employees." Carol: "Which ones are key?" "That would be everyone except um...you." "I curse your dinner!" "I'll bring you some mints...if they have extras."
Thursday July 19,
2012
Tags #meetings, #discuss project, #civility is dead, #invited to meeting, #office
Transcript
Coworker: What's a good time to get together and discuss my project? Dilbert: Never. Every interaction I've had with you has been a waste of time. I have no reason to think it will be different in the future. Coworker: Sheesh! How did civility die? Dilbert: Maybe you invited it to a meeting.
Thursday May 29,
1997
Tags #cloud of doom, #zaps everyone, #once a minute, #past behavior, #indication of future, #won't happen again
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a bench with a woman wearing charred clothing. Dilbert says, "I have a cloud of doom that zaps everyone near me once a minute." The cloud hovers over Dilbert. Dilbert continues, "I'm looking for a woman who deson't think that past behavior is an indication of the future." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert continues, ". . . A woman with absolutely no sense of pattern recognition." The woman says, "Ouch. I'm glad that won't happen again."
Thursday June 19,
1997
Tags #Dogbert, #invited to worthless meetings, #say no, #sense of self, #can't be bothered
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I need your help. I keep getting invited to worthless meetings and I can't say no." Dilbert continues, "YOU can say no to anything. You have such a clearly defined sense of self-interest." Dilbert asks, "Will you teach me to be like you?" Dogbert replies, "Nope . . . can't be bothered."
Wednesday July 02,
1997
Tags #everyone talks funny, #not morons, #incapable, #clear communication, #think outside box, #watch ego, #before ego dies, #rebel, #do it
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"
Tuesday September 30,
1997
Tags #new personal crusade, #hunt down people, #strong opinions, #bop them, #everyone on earth
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a table and says to Dilbert, "I have a new personal crusade." Dogbert holds a cardboard tube. Dogbert says, "I'm going to hunt people down who have strong opinions on subjects they don't understand. Then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube." Dilbert says, "That would include everyone on Earth except you and me." Dogbert says, "Lean over here."
Monday April 13,
1998
Tags #two week notice, #arrogant obstructionist, #bore, #good bye lunch, #quitting, #everyone happy
Transcript
Ed tells Wally, "I just gave my two-week notice." Wally screams, "Yes! Yes! The arrogant obstructionist bore is history!" Ed says, "Everyone seems to be taking this rather well." Wally shouts, "Count me in for the goodbye lunch!"
Sunday April 05,
1998
Tags #variance im depreciation, #four hour meeting, #stale dount, #nothing to report, #wasted donut, #threw donut, #meeting, #everyone alseep, #business
Transcript
A presenter says, ".. Now let's look at our year-to-date variance in depreciation." Alice notices a sleeping co-worker on one side and thinks, "Only five minutes left of our four hour meeting." There is another sleeping co-worker on her other side. Alice thinks, "Uf he keeps droning, there won't be any time for my presentation." Alice thinks, "I spent a whole week preparing my presentation." Alice realizes, "Everyone else is already asleep." Alice plans, "My only hope is to stun the presenter with a stale donut." Presenter points to a chart and says, "As you can see, there's nothing to report." A donut heads for the back of the presenter's head." Alice thinks, "I wasted a donut." Everyone around her is sleeping.
Thursday April 29,
1999
Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #employee skills, #database, #moving everyone, #jobs, #laughed fuzzy
Transcript
Caption "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a conference table with Wally and Asok. Catbert says, "I'm starting an employee skills database." Asok raises his hand and says, "Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don't want?" Catbert says, "No, no, no..... The first step was when I laughed myslef fuzzy thinking about it."
Tuesday July 06,
1999
Tags #strategic plan, #everyone supports, #a way to copy, #images, #piece of paper
Transcript
A balding man with extreamly long hair and beard sees Alice in the hall. Bearded man says, "I did it!" Bearded man says, "It's a strategic technology plan that everyone supports." ALice smiles. Bearded man says, "If only there were a way to copy images from one piece of paper to many." Alice frowns.