Everything Went Wrong Comic Strips

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679 Results for Everything Went Wrong

View 1 - 10 results for everything went wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Everything Went Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everything went wrong, #project wouldn't succeed, #for managers, #reverse amnesia, #project

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Dilbert pionts at the overhead. Dilbert says, "Everything went wrong in exactly the way I told you it would." Dilbert says, "In the next phase you will experience something I call "reverse amnesia for managers." The boss says, "Wait a minute; I'm the one who told you that the project wouldn't succeed."

Phone Better Than Human

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 Phone Better Than Human  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #distraction, #human, #conversation

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Alan: Everything went wrong for me this week. I have problems... all kinds of problems. Dilbert: For the zillionth time in a row, my phone is more fun than talking to a human.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #name, #deserve, #wrong, #world, #created, #ruebert, #robot, #spell

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Dogbert and a robot sit at the table. Dogbert says, "We need a name for you." The robot replies, "I don't deserve a name." The robot continues, "Everything that's wrong with the world is my fault. I rue the day I was created." Dogbert says, "I name you 'Ruebert.'" The robot replies, "Aaagh! People will spell it wrong and it's my fault!!"

All Data Is Wrong

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All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #data, #Entertainment, #experts, #guess, #horoscope, #inaccurate, #new study, #office workers, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #face mask, #covid

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dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #confident men, #phonies, #interest, #Opinion, #relationships

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Woman: I like men who are confident in any situation. Dilbert: Within that subset of men, do you prefer the phonies or the ones who are too dumb to know when they shouldn't be confident? Dogbert: What went wrong this time? Dilbert: I showed interest in her opinion.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project post mortem, #colossal ineptitude, #natural talents, #unfocused honest

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The boss: "The project post-mortem will only be helpful if each of you is honest about what went wrong." "Your colossal ineptitude as a leader suppressed our natural talents, leaving us listless and unfocused." "And by 'honest', I mean blaming people who aren't here." "Look! You're doing it again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lisa, #woman, #happy owman, #nice woman, #engineers liked, #appaorachable, #cubicle, #gifts, #poems, #Food, #replacing

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The Boss: "Now Dilbert will explain what went wrong with our projects this year." DILBERT: "All of our problems were caused by a woman named Lisa." "Lisa never learned to act aloof and unapproachable. Sometimes she smiles and men she doesn't even know." "Gasp." "Gasp." "As you know, 90% of engineers are lonely men." "A permanent line formed outside her cubicle." "The engineers brought her food, gifts and poems that weren't as funny as they'd hoped." "Food, Gifts, Poems (bad)." "I recommend replacing Lisa with someone more like this." Alice: "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Asok: "My poems aren't funny?"

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

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Lifetime Of Being Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask

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dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #death & dying, #could go wrong, #did go worng, #closer to death, #creepy

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Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help on assignment, #no brainer, #interface design, #make beige, #decisions, #can't go wrong

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Dilbert is in The Boss's office. He holds some files and says, "I need help on the assignment that you said is a 'no brainer.'" The Boss says, "It's easy. Just skip the 'interface design' phase and make everything beige. You can't go wrong with beige." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I always know where to go for no-brainer decisions."