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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1994's comic on:

Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

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Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1996's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #dierctor, #eliminate sick days, #evil human resources, #too much time off, #use vacation days, #demons of darkness

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Catbert stands on the desk and thinks, "The employees have too much time off. It must be stopped." Catbert waves his arms and shouts, "I summon the demons of Darkness to assist me!!!" Catbert sits on the monitor while Phil, the demon of Heck, says, ". . . Eliminate sick days. Make them use vacation days when they're ill. Call it a 'time bank.'" Catbert says, "It's playful . . . It's cruel . . . I like it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2008's comic on:

Tags #ugly rumor, #sold brains, #cannibals, #spirits to demons, #bu-wa-haha, #evil laugh

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Dogbert says, "There is an ugly rumor that I sold your brains to cannibals and your spirits to demons." Dogbert says, "BU-WA-HA-HA-HA HA!!!" Alice says, "Did you?" Dogbert says, "You seem a bit unclear on the whole bu-wa-ha-ha concept."

The Evil Robot Business

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The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts

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Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money

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Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #clubs, #meetings, #society for the preservation of evil ideas, #file patents, #sue for infringement, #embezzle, #Entertainment

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Dogbert: Welcome to the monthly meeting of "The Society for the Preservation of Evil Ideas." Our goal for the coming year is to convince companies to file absurdly broad patents and sue each other for infringing. CIO: How do we make money from that? Dogbert: Beats me. I'm just here to embezzle your dues.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2012's comic on:

Tags #babies, #complaining, #human resources, #evil director, #discriminates, #short, #bald, #near sighted, #born this way, #business

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Wally: My boss discriminates against me because I'm short, bald, and near-sighted. It's not my fault. I was born this way. Woman: And who is this little... whoa! Hello. Catbert: evil director of Human Resources. Literally.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1989's comic on:

Tags #comrade, #dogsky, #electronic, #secrets, #soviet man, #microfiche, #hard copy, #cripple, #empire, #evil

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Dogbert walks down a sidewalk and a man in a trenchcoat says, "Pssst . . . Comrade Dogsky. Will you sell your master's electronic secrets to nice Soviet man?" Dogbert asks, "Will you be wanting them on microfiche or hard copy?" Back at home, Dilbert asks, "You're going to cripple the WHAT?" Dogbert, who is carrying plans, replies, "Evil empire. Trust me on this."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #dawn, #bob, #mesmerized, #oratorical, #skill, #evil, #cult

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Bob the Dinosaur asks Dawn, "How did we ever allow ourselves to be drawn into Dogbert's evil cult?" Bob continues, "Maybe he has strange hypnotic powers. Maybe we were mesmerized by his oratorical skill." Dilbert says, "It says here you have brains the size of a walnut." Bob asks, "What's your point?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #mineral spa, #evil, #capitalism, #scams, #hose, #water

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A man stands outside Dilbert's house and says to Dogbert, "Goodbye . . . I think your 'New Age Mineral Water Spa' has been a complete rip-off!" Dogbert turns on a hose and says, "I'm sorry you feel that way . . . Here's a free gallon of miracle hose water." Dilbert says, "You're an evil little dog." Dogbert points the hose at Dilbert and asks, "Thirsty?"