Evil Hr Directorm Not Enjoying Job Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Evil Hr Directorm Not Enjoying Job
View 1 - 10 results for evil hr directorm not enjoying job comic strips. Discover the best "Evil Hr Directorm Not Enjoying Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 01,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr directorm not enjoying job, #powerful anti depressant, #prescribe drugs, #illegal
Transcript
Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Alice says to Catbert, "I'm not enjoying my job." Catbert hands Alice a bottle of pills and says, "Take this powerful anti- depressant drug for the rest of your life." Alice responds, "I didn't know H.R. could prescribe drugs." Catbert says, "I'd hate to live in a world where that was illegal." Alice reads the bottle aloud, "Boss-proof cap."
Monday July 31,
2000
Tags #outside jobs, #control my life, #control what i think, #evil hr director
Transcript
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to Asok, "You need my approval for any outside jobs." Asok replies, "Oh, my...I have the sudden realization that you control my entire life." Asok continues, "But you can't control what I think!" Catbert continues to read without responding.
Wednesday February 12,
2003
Tags #evil hr director, #hire, #job interview, #urine sample, #social secuirty, #past emplyers, #past lovers, #despicable
Transcript
Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to an interviewee, "I need to check a few things before we hire you." Catbert continues, "Give me blood, hair and urine samples, fingerprints, social- security number, past employers, and past lovers." The Boss and Catbert are meeting. The Boss is looking over the interviewee's records. The Boss asks, "Before we started doing all of this checking, did you know that everyone in the world was despicable?" Catbert replies, "Yes."
Monday July 15,
1996
Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #enjoying job, #temporary, #emplotyee manual, #job satisfaction, #stealing company, #admisiion, #fearing sheiks pain, #business
Transcript
Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "According to my sources, you've been enjoying your job, Wally." Wally replies, "It was temporary. I don't know what got into me . . ." Catbert says, "Please refer to page one of the employee manual." Wally reads the manual, "Job satisfaction is the same as stealing from the company." Catbert says, "I'll have to charge you for admission unless I start hearing some shrieks of pain."
Wednesday July 23,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #abuse people, #reduce turnover, #job titles, #convicted felon
Transcript
Catbert, the Evil H.R. Director, sits at his desk. He thinks, "I can't abuse people if they quit the company. I'd better find a way to reduce turnover." Catbert types into his PC, "All job titles will be changed as follows..." Wally stares at his computer screen and says, "My new title is... "Convicted Felon." Dilbert says, "That's look good on the ol' resume."
Saturday March 21,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #boss prevents new job, #great job, #outrageous, #bad situation worse, #human resource promise
Transcript
Catbert: Evil H.R. Director: Dilbert sits in Catbert's office and waves his hands in the air as he says, "My boss is preventing me from transfering to a great job." Catbert says, "That's outrageous! There shouldn't be any great jobs at this company." Dilbert says, "Once again, you've made a bad situation worse." Catbert replies, "That's the human resources promise."
Wednesday January 19,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money
Transcript
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."
Monday October 28,
1996
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #like about work, #making popcorn, #microwave, #pretend tow ork, #body language, #popcorn priviledges
Transcript
Wally sits at his desk. Catbert says, "Hey, Wally, is there anything you still like about working here?" Wally replies, "Um . . . I like making popcorn in the microwave and eating it while I pretend to work." Wally says, "Your body language tells me that something evil is going to happen to my popcorn privileges." Catbert sits on the monitor and thinks, "I love my job."
Wednesday August 05,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #grossly underpaid, #type of work, #current duities, #compensation review, #true story, #not qualified, #subordinate is qualified
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits behind a desk, a women sits on the other side. The woman says, "I'm grossly underpaid for the type of work I do now." Catbert says, "Write a description of your current duties. I'll be happy to do a compensation review." Caption: Based on a true story. Catbert says, "Sadly, it appears you're not qualified for your own job. But one of your subordinates is." Woman's eyes widen.
Saturday March 31,
2001
Tags #evil hr director, #five years expereince, #job interview, #no profit, #dot com president, #Catbert
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIL H.R. DIRECTOR: A man sitting across the desk from Catbert says, "... And I have five years experience as a dot-com president." The man listens as Catbert says, "You're in luck. We need someone who can burn through twenty million dollars without making a profit." Catbert grins widely as the man says, "Really? The last nine interviewers said the same thing but they were joking."