Excellence Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

16 Results for Excellence

View 1 - 10 results for excellence comic strips. Discover the best "Excellence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Why Not A Center Of Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Why Not A Center Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: maybe we should creat a "center of excellence." the boss: what exactly does that mean? ceo: i think it means whatever we want it to mean. the boss: then what good is it? ceo: let's not get lost in the weeds.

Measuring Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

Centers Of Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Centers Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2019's comic on:

Tags #lie, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: make a slide deck that says our "centers of excellence" are creating more excellence. dilbert: do we have any data to support that claim? the boss: no. dilbert: you want me to lie? the boss: is that suddenly too much to ask.

Expecting Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Expecting Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2020's comic on:

Tags #business, #technology, #happiness, #expectations, #coffee, #dysfunction, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: asok, he key to happiness is lowering your expectations. for example, all i expect from work today is twelve cups of coffee and a humorous display of corporate dysfunction. asok: that sounds sad. wally: try expecting excellence and see how that works for you.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1995's comic on:

Tags #excellence in teaming, #nearly ready, #complete buy in, #make decsions, #squirrel migration patterns

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and another worker sit at a conference table. The worker says, "I'm happy to report that the 'Excellence in Teaming' read-out is nearly ready." The worker continues, "It's taken forty people from a dozen departments to complete the study. We finally got complete buy-in." Dilbert asks, "Is that the study of why we can't make decisions?" The worker responds, "Originally. But it evolved into more of a discussion of squirrel migration patterns."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2003's comic on:

Tags #being male, #excellence award, #bend metal, #steel spike, #highest paid, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need to find a way to bend this steel rod into a 'U.' Wally: I'll take care of it. I won the prestigious "steel spike award" For engineering excellence. Alice: what??!! Wally: I guess its validation for being the highest paid in the department....and for being male.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2005's comic on:

Tags #core values, #integrity, #value, #honesty, #excellence, #inherent conflicts, #fund na dpassionate, #all of them, #hygiene

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2006's comic on:

Tags #center of excellence, #presidentail library, #honoring lifes work, #asking questions

View Transcript

Transcript

"I've been asked to design and build our center of excellence." "Which, as I understand it, is like a presidential library honoring my life's work." "In time, people learn to stop asking me questions."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2012's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #work ethic, #execution, #innovation, #full time job, #excellence, #inspired, #died on inside, #coffee and resentment, #chemical formula for hatred, #drilled employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Execution is a game of inches! You miss 100% of the shots you don't take! Innovation is everyone's full-time job! Be the dog, not the tail! Excellence is the only market that isn't crowded! Why don't any of you look inspired by my leadership? Wally: I died on the inside years ago. Now I'm just a fleshy container full of coffee and resentment. This guy was born without a soul. The she-devil at the end is the chemical formula for hatred. Catbert: Did you get through to them? Boss: I drilled until I hit bile.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1994's comic on:

Tags #new name for group, #engineering science research, #designed business cards, #long name, #complicated

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I came up with a new name for our group." The Boss continues, "From now on we're the 'Engineering Science Research Technology Systems Information Quality and Excellence Center.'" Wally says, "You should throw 'efficiency' in there too." The Boss holds up a long piece of paper and says, "I designed the business cards myself."