Excellent All Year Comic Strips
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427 Results for Excellent All Year
View 1 - 10 results for excellent all year comic strips. Discover the best "Excellent All Year" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 16,
2003
Tags #excellent all year, #rating poor, #paper trail, #fire you, #surge of motivation, #feedback
Transcript
Asok is meeting with The Boss. The Boss says, "Asok, your work has been excellent all year." The Boss continues, "I'm rating you 'poor' so I'll have a paper trail in case I ever need to fire you." Asok sobs and crumples his evaluation. The Boss says, "You'll probably feel a little surge of motivation because you got feedback."
Friday March 10,
1995
Tags #performance this year, #tasks, #tiny raise, #boss asigned, #bonus, #keeping salaries low, #workplace violence
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert sits across from him. The Boss tells Dilbert, "Your performance this year was good, but you worked on tasks that aren't important. Therefore you get a tiny raise." Dilbert looks angry as he replies, "I worked on the tasks YOU assigned. What's that say about YOUR performance?" The Boss replies, "It's excellent. I get a bonus for keeping salaries low." Dilbert asks, "Have you seen any literature on workplace violence?"
Wednesday August 26,
1998
Tags #excellent performance, #no bonus, #lost fortune, #elbonian collpase, #fault for working here
Transcript
The boss and Dlbert sit at the Boss' desk, The Boss says, "Your performance was excellent, but there's no bonus this year." Dilbert says,"Why not?" The Boss says, "The company lost a fortune in the Elbonian currency collapse." The Boss says, "But in a way, it's your own fault for working here." Dilbert says,"Thanks. That takes the sting out."
Sunday March 24,
1996
Tags #analysis, #worked all night, #vital, #meeting, #excellent work, #alice, #backup material, #performance review cycle, #naked body threat to boss, #cheap suit, #fling, #business, #science
Transcript
Alice says to the Boss, "Here's the analysis you asked for . . . I worked all night." Alice continues, "But you said this was vital for your meeting today so I know it was worth the effort." The Boss sits at his desk reading the report. He says, "This is excellent work, Alice." Alice closes her eyes and thinks, "A rare compliment; it was all worthwhile." As Alice walks away the Boss says, "I'll use it as backup material." Alice says angrily, "Backup?!! Nobody looks at backup material!" Alice says, "I'm going to grab your pointy hair, yank you out of that cheap suit and fling your naked body down the hall." The Boss lies in the hall with no clothes on. Wally says, "She's always irritable the week before her performance review cycle." Dilbert says, "Her distance improved this year."
Wednesday June 30,
1999
Tags #cube farm, #excellent crop, #fatten up, #need salt, #pretzel stick
Transcript
The cube farmer stand in the doorway of Dilbert's cube with a rake. The farmer says, "My cube farm has an excellent crop this year." the farmer offers Dilbert a donut on the rake and says, "Here you go, fella. This will fatten you up." The farmer attaches a stick on a hook to Dilbert's cube wall and says, "If you ever need salt, just lick this pretzal stick." Dilbert eats the donut and says, "mmmm... ooh!"
Thursday July 01,
1999
Tags #cube farm, #excellent yield, #put down, #reproduce
Transcript
The cube farmer walks through the cubicle and thinks, "My cube farm has an excellent yield this year." The farmer looks at Wally and says, "I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce." The farmer says, "Sorry." Wally says, "No problem; I hear that a lot."
Friday December 27,
2019
Employer Of The Year
Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business
Transcript
boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.
Monday February 01,
2021
Blaming The Last Manager
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #wrong, #fault, #manager, #inherited, #problem, #excellent, #leadership
Transcript
boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems. dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership? boss: no jumping ahead.
Friday March 25,
2011
Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Saturday April 23,
2011
Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work
Transcript
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.