Except Comic Strips
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63 Results for Except
View 1 - 10 results for except comic strips. Discover the best "Except" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 29,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #garbageman, #home, #specific, #except, #campaign
Transcript
The garbage man says to Dogbert, "The key to winning the election is voter turnout." The garbage man continues, "To be specific, you want everybody to stay home except you." The garbage man holds up a poster and says, "I've worked up a little ad campaign." The poster has a picture of a man with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. The poster says, "He touched the voting booth before you did and he never washes his hands."
Friday June 11,
2004
Tags #prima donna, #never produced anything, #except arrogance, #noise, #ta-da, #case closed, #stand behind, #end sentences
Transcript
"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"
Sunday June 26,
2011
Tags #internet & world wide web, #monsters, #turned feral, #engineers, #social life, #social skills, #few weeks, #wolfman, #howls at inetrnet
Transcript
Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?
Sunday July 17,
2011
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #career path, #warn you, #maximum career potential, #less embarrassing car, #ne wocmpany, #ceo, #huge nbonus, #conversation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.
Monday May 21,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #dinner, #car, #drive, #woman, #shallow, #difference, #parking lot, #thump, #mighty, #chest
Transcript
Dilbert asks a woman, ". . . So, would you like to meet after work and go to dinner?" The woman asks, "What kind of car do you drive?" Dilbert says angrily, "Ugh! You women are all so shallow!! It should not make one bit of difference what kind of car I drive!!" The woman replies, "Except that it will help me find you in the parking lot . . . But you could just stand on top of it and thump your mighty chest."
Wednesday November 14,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #dilbert's ego, #bald, #broccoli, #toupee
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert meets Dilbert's ego." Dogbert asks, "You want a toupee?" Dilbert's ego replies, "I feel okay about myself except for being bald." Dogbert says, "I hate to tell you, but with or without hair you still look like broccoli." The ego replies, "At least I won't be bald broccoli."
Saturday April 13,
1991
Tags #physics, #easy, #time, #cannon, #speed, #light, #rotating, #donut
Transcript
The caption says, "Physics made easy." Dilbert says, "Today's lesson is 'time.'" Dilbert points at a diagram and says, "Imagine a donut, fired from a cannon at the speed of light while rotating." Dilbert continues, "Time is like that, except without the cannon and the donut."
Tuesday June 23,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #school, #people, #common, #sense, #learn, #bingo
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to open a school for people with no common sense." Dilbert asks, "Who would pay to go to a school that teaches something that can't be learned?" Dilbert continues, "Except maybe people with no common sense . . ." Dogbert replies, "Bingo."
Wednesday December 22,
1993
Tags #bob, #Dogbert, #money, #shopping, #christmas, #man, #wedgie
Transcript
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Remember, Bob, it is better to give to Dogbert than to receive . . . Especially at Christmas." Bob replies, "But I don't have any income . . . Except for the coins people drop when I give them wedgies." Bob gives a man a wedgie and money falls out of his pockets. Bob thinks, "It seems like exactly the wrong season to pick up the pace on this sort of thing."
Wednesday March 09,
1994
Tags #assurance, #value, #average employee, #less of us, #more work, #downsizing, #layoffs, #warning, #fewer employees
Transcript
The Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Dilbert: "Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work?" "I'm right, aren't I?" The Boss: "Except for the 'us' part."