Search Results for "except the lazy"
Share October 16, 2018's comic on:
Share December 06, 1998's comic on:
Asok the Intern enters Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, may I tap into your vast wisdom?" Wally turns and answers, "Okay, but make sure you pull out before your head explodes." Asok says, "I've noticed that many employees are evil, sadistic obstructionists." Asok continues, "Do all the nuts work HERE by some strange coincidence?" Asok continues, "Or are most employees evil?" Wally says, "Don't focus on the evil, Asok." Wally says, "Focus on the few employees who seem good." Wally continues, holding up his hand, "THEY'RE the ones who will stab you when you're sleeping! Trust no one but the lazy!" Asok runs out of the cubicle yelling, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally calls after him, "I warned you to pull out."
Share January 19, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I expected you to quit after you got your billion-dollar discrimination settlement. Wally: Just because I'm lazy and unscrupulous, why would you assume I'm also a quitter? Dilbert: I... um... Wally: I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror.
Share February 03, 2012's comic on:
Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.
Share April 21, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert walks down the hall humming. He thinks, "It's one of those days my brain feels lazy." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better avoid any mental stimulation." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert says, "It's times like this I really appreciate knowing you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you."
Share February 29, 1992's comic on:
The garbage man says to Dogbert, "The key to winning the election is voter turnout." The garbage man continues, "To be specific, you want everybody to stay home except you." The garbage man holds up a poster and says, "I've worked up a little ad campaign." The poster has a picture of a man with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. The poster says, "He touched the voting booth before you did and he never washes his hands."
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Share March 23, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk and addresses Wally, Dilbert and the Boss. Dogbert says, "I've decided to sell the company for a huge profit. I found some very discriminating buyers." Wally asks Dogbert, "When you say discriminating, you mean . . . ?" Dogbert answers, "They hate people from this country." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's okay. We have laws to protect us." One Elbonian says to the other, "They're lazy, but at least they're funny!" The other laughs, "Hee hee." The Boss looks shocked.
Share May 08, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. Dogbert says, "I'm going to try my paw at being a career counselor." Dogbert continues, "Insecure people will seek my advice and I'll tell them to be more self-reliant." Dilbert says, "That sounds lazy and unhelpful." Dogbert asks, "Would you want career advice from somebody who has to work hard?"
Share August 07, 1997's comic on:
The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "So you see, if you got a raise, our earnings growth wouldn't be so smooth." The Boss asks, "And smooth earnings are good for who?" Asok ventures a guess, "Stock market analysts?" The Boss corrects him, "Specifically, the lazy ones." Asok says, "I'm fine. Now that I understand."