Dogbert stands at a desk and works on a computer as Dilbert watches from behind. Dogbert says, "I can execute my stock transactions on-line with the PC." Dogbert stops typing and says, "There . . . My insider trading netted another sixty million dollars." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Bad dog!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "I suppose it's too late to try slapping him with a rolled-up newspaper."
NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.
CEO: We can only succeed if we execute. Wally: How is that different from saying we can only succeed if we succeed. CEO: There's also the strategy. Wally: Does the strategy create itself?
The Boss' boss shakes his finger at The Boss and says, "You've got to focus on execution!" The Boss is puzzled. The Boss says to Catbert, "I think he wants me to execute people." Catbert responds, "Make it look like an accident." The Boss announces at a meeting, "From now on, my staff meetings will be two hours long." Alice and Wally sob.
Dilbert says, "We realized our project can't work even if we execute it perfectly." Dilbert says, "Our boss' plan is to go over budget, attract attention, and hope an executive cancels our project for his own political reasons." Dogbert says, "Now do you agree that evil is the cure for incompetence?" Dilbert says, "Don't make me say it."
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll execute our strategy in the usual way." Dogbert says, "The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved." The boss says, "How long will that take?" Dogbert says, "We just finished."
Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week.
Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong.
um, no nothing like that.
You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong.
and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right?
Yes.
Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter.
you're leading by example nicely done.
what other dumb things should we do right away?
Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway.
Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent.
Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent?
Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.
boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local.
dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country?
elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia.
boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system.
elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others.
boss: i'm going to need a second opinion.
elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.
