Executive Body Guard Class Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

477 Results for Executive Body Guard Class

View 1 - 10 results for executive body guard class comic strips. Discover the best "Executive Body Guard Class" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2002's comic on:

Tags #executive body guard class, #pounce, #kidnapper, #sacrifice yourself, #inside help, #reimburse

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, I'm sending you to an executive bodyguard class." The Boss continues, "You'll learn how to pounce on a kidnapper and sacrifice yourself to keep me safe." Carol responds, "I'm taking a class called, 'inside help.'" The Boss says, "I can't reimburse for that."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #elbonia, #elbonian man, #body guard

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert packs his suitcase. Ratbert says, "I'll go with you on your trip to Elbonia. I can be your bodyguard." Dilbert replies, "It's not a good place for a rat. The mud is quite . . ." Ratbert yells, "You think I'm not tough enough? I'll show you!!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian points at a bump in the mud next to Dilbert and asks, "And THAT'S your bodyguard?" Ratbert says from under the mud, "I don't like the tone of your voice."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1996's comic on:

Tags #serious threat, #competitors, #consultants, #eat our lunch, #executive comapny, #hired security guard, #lunches, #safe, #figure of speech, #better than usuaal, #cafeteria

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands next to an overhead projector and says, "Last week our consultants warned us about a serious threat." The Boss continues, "They said our competitors would 'eat our lunch.'" The Boss continues, "I'm happy to tell the executive committee that I leapt into action." The Boss continues, "I hired a security guard to protect the cafeteria." The Boss concludes, "Our lunches are safe." An executive says to another, "I always thought that was just a figure of speech." The woman replies, "Fool! Give me your department!" One executive shouts, "Let go of my hair!!" One of them slaps the other and someone shouts, "Ouch!!" The Boss thinks, "This is going better than usual." Dilbert asks a security guard, "Why is the cafeteria closed?" The guard replies, "Someone ate all the lunches." He burps.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2003's comic on:

Tags #manager of executive compensation, #plan to steal, #meeting, #back slapping, #pormises, #raises, #ponys, #vacations, #huge raise, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

Asok's Body Double

Thank you for voting.
Asok's Body Double - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2016's comic on:

Tags #arrest, #hit man, #mistaken identity, #body double, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.

Dilbert Characters

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2017's comic on:

Tags #lying, #body cam, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

Employee Body Cams

Thank you for voting.
Employee Body Cams - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2018's comic on:

Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.

Body Language Fail

Thank you for voting.
Body Language Fail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #body language, #fail, #deny, #psychology, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!

Mandatory Blockchain Class

Thank you for voting.
Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2020's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2011's comic on:

Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #finishing projects, #early, #powerpoint, #presentation, #executive retreat, #dead boss hand puppet, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."