Expensive Engineering Solutions Comic Strips

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340 Results for Expensive Engineering Solutions

View 1 - 10 results for expensive engineering solutions comic strips. Discover the best "Expensive Engineering Solutions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #managers & supervisors, #thwarting rivals, #competitions, #expensive engineering solutions, #business

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Dilbert: Have you heard any rumors about what is driving our boss's decisions lately? Alice: He's thwarting a rival within the company by offering only prohibitively expensive engineering solutions. Dilbert: My work has meaning, but it's not the good kind.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #laziness, #project budget, #new technology, #slow learner, #expensive

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Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #great solutions, #bicycle seats, #dorky pants, #bicycle pants

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GREAT SOLUTIONS IN ENGINEERING Problem: Bicycle seats are hard. They Hurt. Analysis: there must be something work with your pants, Dogbert: Solution: dorky pants.

Engineering

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Engineering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #hiring, #negativity, #personality tests, #resumes, #special algorithms, #personality, #stupidity, #engineering, #psychology

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Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.

I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems

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I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #authority, #convincing, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #launch deadline, #solutions, #unexpected problems, #business

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Boss: Are you going to meet the launch deadline? Dilbert: No. There were unexpected problems. Boss: I need solutions, not unexpected problems! Did that mean anything? Dilbert: Almost. Good try.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet

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Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

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The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #air travel, #cash payment, #college freind, #cost & standard of living, #expensive, #friendship, #relationships

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Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineering issues, #enginner, #not a linquist, #vague requests, #faith in humanity

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Woman says, "Wally, can you review this for any engineering issues?" Wally says, "What issues do you think it has?" Woman says, "I don't know. I'm not an engineer." Wally says, "Your request is too vague. You need to tell me what issues I'm looking for!" Woman says, "Did you just ask me to do what I just asked you to do?" Wally says, "I don't know. I'm an engineer, not a linguist." Woman says, "I've suddenly lost all faith in humanity!" Wally says, "On the plus side, you found an issue."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #writing, #writing systems, #press relese, #vp of engineering, #personal resons, #speculate, #bieber fever, #write fiction

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Boss: Tina, all I wanted you to say in the press release is that our VP of engineering is leaving for personal reasons. You didn't need to speculate on the reasons. Let's lost the part about "Bieber Fever." Tina: Everyone thinks it's easy to write fiction.