Experience Needed Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

156 Results for Experience Needed

View 1 - 10 results for experience needed comic strips. Discover the best "Experience Needed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dismissive and insulting, #eduction, #experience needed, #insulting answer, #snake mittens, #rejected idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: What do you think of my idea? " Dilbert: It won't work. MAN: Why not?" Dilbert; Do you want the long answer that you won't understand because you possess neither the experience nor the education needed? Or the dismissive and insulting answer that has the advantage of being quick? Dilbert: Another advantage of the insulting answer is that you can tell people I rejected your idea because I didn't think of it myself. Man: I guess I'll take the insulting answer. Dilbert: Fine. Your idea is dumber than snake mittens. What do you have against snake mittens?"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Unemployed "No problem. I'll just go online and find a great job." "Let's see...This one looks good. 'No experience needed..." "...Must be willing to relocate, then be put into a huge blender and packed as a condiment.'"

Tons Of Experience

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tons Of Experience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #employment, #interviews, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #prejudiced, #curiosity, #insulted, #experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert asks, "Is it possible that you're prejudiced against rats because you once had a bad experience with a rat?" Dilbert asks, "Just out of curiosity, what would be a GOOD experience with a rat?" Ratbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I believe I've been insulted!" Dilbert says, "That was kind of a good experience."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #sensory, #deprivation, #chamber, #experience, #mental, #stimulation, #paid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I prepare to enter the sensory deprivation chamber." Dilbert thinks, "I will experience no mental or physical stimulation for hours." Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "All that and I get paid too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #hideous, #shopping, #experience, #pants, #Card, #reported, #stolen, #strangled, #minutes, #aisle, #six, #floor, #chalk, #outline

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in line at a cash register thinking, "It was another hideous shopping experience, but I found exactly the pants I want." The clerk says to the man in front of Dilbert, "I'm sorry . . ." The salesclerk says, "This card was reported stolen. The real owner was strangled with his own pants just minutes ago on aisle six . . ." Dilbert looks at the pants he is holding and thinks, "That would explain why these were on the floor by the chalk outline."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invite yourself, #meeting, #split donut, #ratbert at meeting, #no experience in marketing, #advised, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I didn't get the job in marketing. They say I have no experience." Dogbert responds, "Try inviting yourself to meetings. Nobody ever says no, and they're too timid to kick you out once you sit down." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert stands on the table next to a box of donuts and says, "Does anybody want to split a donut? I'll just take half and leave the rest."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jet pilot experimce, #ow hard, #money, #pretty boy, #experience, #corporate jet, #budget pressure, #pilot eject seat

View Transcript

Transcript

A man reads Dogbert's resume and asks him, "Your resume doesn't list any experience as a jet pilot, Mister Dogbert." Dogbert says, "How hard could it be?" Dogbert continues, "You could spend a lot of money on some pretty boy pilot with experience, or you can save a few bucks and have ME drive the corporate jet." The man says, "I AM under a lot of budget pressure . . . And I'm not allowed on the jet myself . . ." Dogbert asks, "It has a pilot eject seat, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #graduate, #school, #hard, #knocks, #gain, #wisdom, #obtained, #suffering, #course, #whacking, #objects, #rationalize, #experience, #dedicated, #teacher, #stick, #basics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a room of people. He says, "Welcome to Dogbert's 'School of Hard Knocks.'" Dogbert says, "This is the school you've heard so much about." Dogbert continues, "Chances are, one of your parents is a graduate of this school." Dogbert continues, "At Dogbert's School of Hard Knocks, you will gain the wisdom that can only be obtained through suffering." Dogbert opens a box and continues, "Throughout the course, I'll be whacking you with various blunt objects." Dogbert continues, "It may be unpleasant at first, but you'll get used to it." Dogbert continues, "Eventually, your brain will rationalize the whole experience. You'll think I'm a dedicated teacher, and you'll actually believe you learned something." Dogbert shakes a stick and says, "Stick with the basics, I say."