Explain The Issue Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for explain the issue comic strips. Discover the best "Explain The Issue" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags explain the issue, never comprehend, conflicts, never understand

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"I know I keep asking you this but could you explain the issue again?" "Well, something that you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you'd never understand." "Oh."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, coworker, software, product, sitting, technical issue, understand, terms, comprehension level, human, squirrel, anvil, awkward, community college, business, engineering

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, explain to Logan the technical issue in terms he can understand." Dilbert says, "Sure. What's his comprehension level? Are we talking human, squirrel or anvil?" The Boss says, "Which one am I?" Dilbert says, "Don't make this awkward." The Boss says, "Did the squirrel go to a community college?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technical issue, coworker, sitting in chairs, facing each other, software, yell, condescend, stupid, dumb, dense, shout, sitting on couch, touchy, engineering

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Dilbert says, "I've been asked to explain our technical issue in terms you can understand." Logan says, "Good." Dilbert says, "THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!" Dilbert says, "He was dense and touchy. It's a bad combination."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags kindness, trick, credibility issue, suscpious, boss compliments, hostile response

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Alice: I'm just stopping by to say you're doing a great job, Alice. Alice: You never do that! It's a trick! Die, monster, die! Boss: I might have a credibility issue.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, mobile (cell) phones, telephones, rings after 4pm, caller id blocked, ignore call, email, horrible issue, hate life, torture coworker

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Noise: Ring. Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's never good when my phone rings after 4 pm. Caller ID is blocked. Someone must know that I would ignore the call if I knew who it was. If it weren't urgent, it would be email. This must be some sort of horrible issue that will cause me to work all night. It stopped. There's still a chance that I'll be okay unless my cell phone... Noise: Bzzzz. Dilbert: GAAAA!! I hate my life! Alice: You're right. That was funny. Wally: Now I'll text him.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, senator, issue, working, real, problems

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Dogbert writes, "Dear Senator, I demand a constitutional amendment banning the obscene and anti-American lyrics in opera." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think a senator will care about an issue like that?" An aide says to a senator, "I think we found another issue to keep us from working on real problems." The senator reaches for the letter and says, "Ooh-ooh!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, demangogue, issue, appeals, emotions, blind, prejudices, masses, frenzy, national, unmarried, Men, responsible, violent, crimes, Pets

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a demagogue." Dogbert continues, "I'll find some issue that appeals to the emotions and blind prejudices of the masses, then I'll whip it into a media frenzy and become a national figure." Dogbert continues, "For example, unmarried men are responsible for most of our violent crimes." Dilbert replies, "That's because we tend to have pets."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, Dogbert, potato, rat, yam, pillow, explain

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert asks, "How can I be sure I'm a rat?" Ratbert continues, "What if I'm really something else - like a potato - and I just think I'm a rat?" Ratbert says, "I think, therefore I'm a yam." Dogbert replies, "It would explain a lot."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fourth day, telecommuting, clothes useless, struck by question, monkeys, beards, discuss issue, attendance low, around table, introduce

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Dilbert sits at his desk at home. He is naked. He types in his daily log, "On my forth day of telecommuting I realize that clothes are totally unnecessary." Dilbert strokes his unshaven face and thinks, "Hey!" The log reads, "Suddenly I am struck by a question: why don't monkeys grow beards?" The log reads, "I call a meeting to discuss the issue but attendance is low." Dilbert sits at a conference table with Ratbert. Dilbert reads from a document, "Issue one: monkey beards." Ratbert says, "Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags authentic baby, week old, explain absence, mickey rooney

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Woman's hands holds a babay over The Boss's desk. Woman says, "This is an authentic baby, less than one week old." Woman says, "As I feed this authentic baby in fron of you, recall how big my stomach was last week." Woman says, "So, do I still need a note from my doctor to explain my absence?" The Boss says, "Yes, unless you can prove where Mickey Rooney is right now."