Express Lane Comic Strips
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10 Results for Express Lane
View 1 - 10 results for express lane comic strips. Discover the best "Express Lane" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 16,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #express lane, #grocery, #store, #woman, #old women
Transcript
Dilbert stands in the express line at the supermarket. The cashier says to the old woman in front of Dilbert, "This looks like a lot more than ten items, ma'am." The woman replies, "It doesn't matter. I'm old and you must do as I say." The woman continues, "I have some coupons for totally unrelated products and a fourth-party personal check from North Yemen." The woman reaches into her purse and says, "They're hopelessly lost in my bag. I'll rummage while you all wait." As she rummages, her head disappears into the bag. She says, "What the . . ." The store clerk watches as the woman screams and falls into the pocketbook. The clerk tells Dilbert, "Wild coyotes in the handbag . . . I've seen this before." A dog barks and burps inside the bag.
Friday October 12,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #express, #birds, #singing, #tractor, #chest
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "It's hard to express how I feel when I'm with you." Dilbert says, "Try." The woman says, "Imagine a field of wheat on a sunny Spring day. Birds are singing." Dilbert says, "There . . . That wasn't too hard." The woman says, "Now imagine a tractor on your chest . . ."
Friday February 05,
1993
Tags #cars, #clean, #letters, #express, #outrage, #editor, #Funny, #pages, #sarcasm, #children, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #time
Transcript
The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."
Tuesday January 10,
1995
Tags #own cubicles, #keep binders, #shopping cart, #strong interest, #graffitti, #express indviduality, #could be worse, #joining gang
Transcript
Dilbert enters carrying a briefcase and meets Wally who is pushing a shopping cart. Wally says, "Now that we don't have our own cubicles I have to keep my binders in this shopping cart." Wally draws on a cubicle wall with a can of spray paint and says, "And I've developed a strong interest in graffiti as a way to express my individuality." Dilbert says, "Well . . . It could be worse." Wally continues, "I'm thinking of joining a gang."
Friday September 21,
2001
Tags #meeting, #across bridge, #hard work, #intern, #carpool lane, #business
Transcript
Alice has a briefcase in her hand. She says to Asok, "Asok, you're coming with me to an important meeting across the bridge." Asok is sitting at his computer. He thinks to himself, "Important!" Alice and Asok are walking. Asok says, "My hard work as an intern is paying off. Already I am invited to an important meeting!" Alice and Asok are driving past traffic. Asok exclaims, "Hey, we get the carpool lane!"
Tuesday July 21,
2020
Carol's Hate Jealousy
Tags #office workers, #pandemic, #business, #anger, #writing, #novel, #write, #ambitious, #intense, #hate, #jealously, #encouragement, #die, #covid, #lane
Transcript
dilbert and carol wearing face masks. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a novel. carol yelling: stay in your lane! i'm not ambitious and i have intense hate-jealousy for anyone who is! dilbert: i was looking for some encouragement. carol: die! die! die!
Thursday September 28,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #car, #friends, #radio
Transcript
The caption says, "A friend is somebody who will not think less of you for singing the 'ooh-ooh!' part of a song on the radio." Dilbert and Dogbert ride in the car listening to the radio. Dilbert sings, "Oooh-oooh!!" The caption says, "Of course, friends will also feel free to express their musical opinions." Dilbert lies in a ditch as the car speeds off.
Friday December 07,
2001
Tags #enjoyment, #fire you, #free country, #free speech, #outside of work, #pastry, #criticize government
Transcript
Asok, The Boss, and Wally are eating donuts and drinking coffee. Asok says, "The great thing about free speech is that I can criticize the government." The Boss replies, "I'd fire you." Asok says, "I mean outside of work." The Boss responds, "I'd fire you for that too." Asok asks, "May I express enjoyment of my pastry?" The Boss replies, "Sure. It's a free country."
Thursday October 18,
2012
Tags #capitalism, #electronic mail, #colorful opions, #email, #advertising plan, #discoverable record, #describing advertising, #pinocchio doing backstroke
Transcript
Boss: Please stop using email to express your colorful opinions of our marketing campaign. We don't need a discoverable record of you describing our advertising plan as "Pinocchio doing the backstroke in Satan's septic tank." Remember that capitalism without deniability is the same as poverty. Dilbert: Eh?
Thursday June 27,
2019
Jargon Cancelling Headphones
Tags #doctor, #doctors' offices, #office, #office workers, #prescription, #headphones, #jargon
Transcript
doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.