Alice and Dilbert stand behind a little boy who sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Matt, your job is to test my new invention that blocks kids from seeing dirty pictures on the Internet." As Matt uses the Internet, Dilbert tells Alice, "His youthful curiosity is no match for my technical brilliance." Matt stops typing and stares at the screen. Dilbert says to Alice, "I hope that wasn't the sound of eyeballs getting really big."
Dilbert, Ming,the new web employee, and the boss are sitting at a table. Ming has a sheet of paper on the table. Ming says: "I linked our web site to various sponsors who pay us for eyeballs." Ming says:"Those sponsors link to other web sites who link to us." Ming says to the boss:"The net-net at the end of the day is we owe ourselves a billion dollars." The boss thinks: "eyeballs?", while expressing disgust.
CEO: I have a vision that our next product will be a tablet computer the size of a dime. Users will lick it and attach it to their eyeballs. Can you finish that in a month? Dilbert: I can fail at any speed you like.
Dilbert: Im getting performance anxiety at the automated teller machine.
I feel the impatient glare of the stranger behind me.
I try to prove competent by speeding through the menus.
Good Lord, I hit the mandarin chinese language option.
Oh no! I think I transferred my life savings to the "United way"
Great...now his truck eyeballs are stuck to the back of my neck.
This is exactly why I hate going to the automated teller.
Dogbert: I think a little "visine" would make him slide right off.
Dilbert: There was a time I could afford that...
