Face Is Killing Me Comic Strips

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272 Results for Face Is Killing Me

View 1 - 10 results for face is killing me comic strips. Discover the best "Face Is Killing Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #face for wrinkles, #face is killing me, #inject deadly poison, #botox, #dermal fillers, #botchulism

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A female coworker approaches and asks, "Do you think I should inject a deadly poison in my face to hide wrinkles?" Dilbert responds, "It's only fair that you poison your face, because your face is killing me. Hee Hee Hee!" The coworker says, "The correct answer is 'You don't need to.'" Dilbert replies, "Was your mother a shar-pei?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cool, #guys, #Women, #miss, #killing, #me, #trash, #dating, #love

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Dilbert thinks, "I've noticed that all the cool guys use gentle kidding with women. Women must like it." Dilbert walks up behind a woman and says, "Excuse me, miss, does your face hurt? It's killing me!" Dilbert giggles and snorts. Dilbert is stuffed upside down in a garbage can. Dilbert thinks, "The cool guys must hate it when this happens to them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #bell, #improve moral, #achieve goal, #ring bell, #yell accomplishment, #bell works, #alice, #resisted killing boss

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The Boss points to a bell on the wall and says, "This bell will improve your morale." The Boss continues, "You ring the bell whenever you achieve a goal." The Boss turns and shouts, "Then yell your accomplishment to the rest of the office." The Boss turns to face the office and says, "I know it sounds corny, but the bell has worked in other offices." Dilbert asks, "Does your information come from the bosses of those companies?" The Boss responds, "No. It comes from a magazine that interviewed those bosses." Alice grabs the bell and says, "I'll go first." The bell sounds, "CLANG! CLANG!" Alice calls out to the office, "I resisted killing my boss with a stupid bell."

Your Lying Face

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Your Lying Face  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #assumption, #face, #facial expression, #business

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Dilbert: Why didn't you invite me to the meeting? Man: I could tell by your face that you didn't want to be invited. Dilbert: But I did want to be invited. Man: Tell that to your lying face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #office equipment, #swine, #information services, #upgraded network secuirty, #facila recognition, #temporary passwrod, #face, #extensive plastic surgery, #to log on

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #glum, #plastic, #surgeon, #face, #dog

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Dogbert says to a man walking toward him on the sidewalk, "Hey, mister, why are you so glum?" The man replies, "I've lost face at my job . . ." Dogbert says, "You'll get over it." The man says, "You don't understand . . . I'm a plastic surgeon . . . I actually lost somebody's face." Dogbert says, "Bummer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #president, #head, #face, #director, #marketing, #fell, #broke, #rib, #gesundheit

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert answers, "Not so good . . . I sneezed and blew the toupee off a vice president's head and into the face of the director of marketing, who fell and broke a rib." Dogbert responds, "Gesundheit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cop, #under, #arrest, #killing, #senior, #executive, #ear, #corn, #self-defense

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Dilbert opens the door. A police officer points a gun at him and says, "You're under arrest for killing a senior executive of your company with an ear of corn." As the officer frisks him, beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's head and he cries, "It . . . It was self-defense! HE started the food fight! I had just seasoned my corn . . . It was in my hand . . . It was just a reflex!!" The officer says, "The charge is 'a salt and buttering with intent to kill.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #perfect, #turtleneck, #nervous, #Dogbert, #face

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Ratbert, who is wearing a sweater, asks Dogbert, "What do you think of my Chihuahua disguise?!" Dogbert replies, "It's a good start, Ratbert, but it takes more than a turtleneck to look like a Chihuahua." Ratbert opens his eyes wide and says, "How about if I make this face and act nervous?" Dogbert replies, "Perfect."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electric, #razor, #burn, #face, #joke, #toaster, #shave, #problem

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"