Face Lift Comic Strips
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339 Results for Face Lift
View 1 - 10 results for face lift comic strips. Discover the best "Face Lift" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 21,
2007
Tags #checked box, #drink more, #face lift, #long neck, #see over cubicles, #too high, #disproportinate
Transcript
"Then I found out there are two kinds of face-lifts." "I accidentally checked the box for the kind that lets you see over the top of your cubicle." "So I try to drink more, but that isn't working out either."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 14,
2002
Tags #short timer, #refuse to leave, #motorized wheel chair, #lift me, #drag to curb
Transcript
Headline: The Short-Timer. Asok asks the short-timer, "How will you leave if you refuse to use any major muscle groups until retirement?" The short-timer responds, "I'm hoping someone will buy me a motorized wheelchair and lift me into it." Asok says, "I would be willing to drag you to the curb." The short-timer responds, "Face up?"
Monday July 09,
2018
Your Lying Face
Tags #meeting, #assumption, #face, #facial expression, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Why didn't you invite me to the meeting? Man: I could tell by your face that you didn't want to be invited. Dilbert: But I did want to be invited. Man: Tell that to your lying face.
Sunday July 01,
2012
Tags #extensive plastic surgery, #face, #gadgets, #information services, #office equipment, #swine, #to log on
Transcript
Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.
Thursday December 13,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #glum, #plastic, #surgeon, #face, #dog
Transcript
Dogbert says to a man walking toward him on the sidewalk, "Hey, mister, why are you so glum?" The man replies, "I've lost face at my job . . ." Dogbert says, "You'll get over it." The man says, "You don't understand . . . I'm a plastic surgeon . . . I actually lost somebody's face." Dogbert says, "Bummer."
Wednesday March 20,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #president, #head, #face, #director, #marketing, #fell, #broke, #rib, #gesundheit
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert answers, "Not so good . . . I sneezed and blew the toupee off a vice president's head and into the face of the director of marketing, who fell and broke a rib." Dogbert responds, "Gesundheit."
Tuesday July 16,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #perfect, #turtleneck, #nervous, #Dogbert, #face
Transcript
Ratbert, who is wearing a sweater, asks Dogbert, "What do you think of my Chihuahua disguise?!" Dogbert replies, "It's a good start, Ratbert, but it takes more than a turtleneck to look like a Chihuahua." Ratbert opens his eyes wide and says, "How about if I make this face and act nervous?" Dogbert replies, "Perfect."
Saturday September 21,
1991
Tags #park bench, #Dogbert, #parties, #lift, #heavy, #sound, #dumb, #body, #builder, #pay
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a muscular man. The large man says, "It's not easy to be a professional body builder." The man continues, "At parties, people ask what I do. I have to say 'I lift heavy things, then I put them down.' It makes me sound dumb." Dogbert asks, "How's the pay?" The man asks, "Pay?"
Friday December 06,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electric, #razor, #burn, #face, #joke, #toaster, #shave, #problem
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Wednesday June 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #brenda, #brainwashed, #quality, #pads, #note, #face
Transcript
Dilbert: It looks like Brenda has been brainwashed by the new company slogan. It all started when we got these little sticky notes pads that say "quality" on them. Oops, sorry, I shouldn't put it right in your face. Man: Quality... Quality... Quality...