Search Results for "face of company"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #anyone offers food, #dont eat, #fill in receptionist, #impression visitors, #face of company

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The Boss comes to Carol's desk and says, "Carol, I need you to fill in for our receptionist today." The Boss continues, "Remember, you will be the face of our company, the first impression for visitors." Carol is seen at the receptionist's desk. A visitor stands at the desk looking surprised as Carol says, "If anyone offers you food, don't eat it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #hands free phone, #insulting comments, #boss directed, #pointy haired, #face transplant, #baboon, #personal calls, #company time

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The Boss is walking past Wally. Wally says, "You're an ignorant maggot. You disgust me." Wally continues, "You should get a face transplant from a baboon." The Boss exclaims, "What?!" Wally points to his headset and explains, "I'm not talking to you. I'm using my hands-free phone." The Boss replies, "Oh.. for a minute I thought... well, nevermind." Wally says, "Ha ha! You might be the most gullible moron in the galaxy!" Wally yells, "You pointy-haired, gray-suited pile of crud!!!" The Boss faces Wally, fuming with anger. Wally says into his headset, "Mom, can you hold? My excellent boss wants to talk to me." Wally asks sheepishly, "What?" The Boss exclaims, "No personal calls on company time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brenda, #brainwashed, #quality, #pads, #note, #face

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Dilbert: It looks like Brenda has been brainwashed by the new company slogan. It all started when we got these little sticky notes pads that say "quality" on them. Oops, sorry, I shouldn't put it right in your face. Man: Quality... Quality... Quality...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #email, #face on cows butt, #morale, #objects, #off color jokes, #photoshopped

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The boss: "Alice, you've ben accused of forwarding off-color jokes by e-mail." The Boss: "Do you object to the increase in morale or the nickel it cost the company so far?" "I object to my face being photoshopped to a cow's butt." Alice: "You object to art?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #suicide, #face front, #web only, #company, #business

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Dogbert says, "You're a third-rate company in a dying industry." Dogbert says, "I recommend consultant-assisted corporate suicide." The Boss says, "Will it hurt?" Dogbert says, "It might sting a little when you announce your'e going to be a web-only company."

Actual Company Policy

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Actual Company Policy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #management, #manipulation, #strategy, #vacation, #training, #company policy

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Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?

Your Lying Face

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Your Lying Face  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #assumption, #face, #facial expression, #business

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Dilbert: Why didn't you invite me to the meeting? Man: I could tell by your face that you didn't want to be invited. Dilbert: But I did want to be invited. Man: Tell that to your lying face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #executives, #interviews, #ceo's interview series, #company priftable, #credit, #overpaid and useless, #dumb employees, #highest bidder, #blackmail, #interview

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Dogbert says, "I don't like people." Dogbert says, "What makes your company so profitable?" CEO says, "I give all of the credit to our fine employees." Dogbert says, "Is that another way of saying you're overpaid and useless?" CEO says, "Um... no. I'm their leader. I set the direction." Dogbert says, "Because the employees are too dumb to set their own direction?" CEO says, "No! They're smart!" Dogbert says, "But not as smart as you?" CEO says, "Who's going to see this?" Dogbert says, "No one, assuming you're the highest bidder." Dogbert's CEO Interview Series

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #engineers, #telomeres, #value work, #company gym, #slacker trap

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Boss: We're looking for engineers with short telomeres for their age. That's an indication that you value work above exercise. Man: But you have a company gym. Boss: That's our slacker trap!