Failed Thirty Times Comic Strips
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Dilbert stands at desk of The Boss and says, "Here's what I don't understand..." Dilbert says, "You just asked me to follow a process that has failed thirty times in a row and you know it." Dilbert says, "At what point can this no longer be called 'optimism'?" The Boss says, "When it succeeds?"
Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.
A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."
Coworker says, "Your idea has already been tried by others and it failed miserably." Dilbert says, "Were those other as skilled at implementing ideas as you are at evaluating them?" Coworker says, "Of course they were!" Dilbert says, "Can you tell him to stop insulting himself?"
Alice: Your topic of conversation has failed to hold my attention. I can no longer resist the urge to check my email while you talk. You'd better not be emailing me now. Dilbert: This isn't over.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch looking through a photo album. Dilbert says, "Here's a picture of my uncle just before he was drafted. He was awarded eleven purple hearts." Dogbert asks, "He was wounded eleven times?!" Dilbert replies, "Uncle William insisted that his friends call him 'Will' . . ." Three soldiers kneel in a trench. A commanding officer yells, "Okay, men, fire at will!!" and the other soldiers look at Will.
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "I really enjoy these quiet times we have." Dilbert continues, "Just delicious silence. No annoying noise. No inane chatter." Dogbert says, "Apparently you don't listen to you, either."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who makes eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "Uh no . . . Uncontrollable urge to look away . . . I've got to blink about twenty times. Why did she have to bring that up?" Dilbert covers his eyes, screams, knocks his drink over and blinks repeatedly. The woman turns to the reader and says, "I love doing that."
Dogbert sits on a trashcan and says to the garbage man, "Maybe I'll never solve the mystery of why Dilbert's neckties curl up." The garbage man says, "Sometimes, Dogbert, life presents us with mysteries to fuel our sense of wonder . . . It stimulates us to reach beyond ourselves to something greater." Dogbert asks, "This isn't one of those times, is it?" The garbage man says, "Apparently not."
Dilbert says to a short man, "Hi, Les." Les says, "You say that almost mockingly." Les continues, "The way you say it, my name sounds like 'Less.' I've told you a million times it's French -- pronounced 'Lez.'" Dilbert says, "You seem a little short-tempered." Les says, "Hey! That time you did it on purpose!!"