Faith In Humanity Comic Strips
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31 Results for Faith In Humanity
View 1 - 10 results for faith in humanity comic strips. Discover the best "Faith In Humanity" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 02,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #eating & drinking, #lunchtime, #trivial decions, #lose faith, #humanity, #no hope, #vending machine, #fatasize, #competent coworkers
Transcript
Man says, "Dilbert, would you like to join us for lunch?" Dilbert says, "Where are you going?" Man says, "We haven't decided." Dilbert says, "In that case, no." Dilbert says, "I can't stand watching a small group of people trying to make a trivial decision." Dilbert says, "It makes me lose all faith in humanity." Dilbert says, "Food doesn't taste as good when you have no hope." Dilbert says, "I'll just get somehting from the vending machine and fantasize that my co-workers are competent." Dilbert says, "Let's see... what goes well with an unrealistic worldview?"
Sunday March 27,
2011
Tags #engineering issues, #enginner, #not a linquist, #vague requests, #faith in humanity
Transcript
Woman says, "Wally, can you review this for any engineering issues?" Wally says, "What issues do you think it has?" Woman says, "I don't know. I'm not an engineer." Wally says, "Your request is too vague. You need to tell me what issues I'm looking for!" Woman says, "Did you just ask me to do what I just asked you to do?" Wally says, "I don't know. I'm an engineer, not a linguist." Woman says, "I've suddenly lost all faith in humanity!" Wally says, "On the plus side, you found an issue."
Monday December 13,
2010
Tags #recalibarating, #faith in humanity, #reading opinions, #message boards
Transcript
Dilbert: what are you up to? Im recalibrating my lack of faith in humanity, dilbertL will this take long? Dogbert: no, I start by reading opinions awn message boards and.... Dilbert: I can come back later. Dogbert: You ignorant juice bag
Saturday August 24,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #senator, #appreciate, #close, #vote, #senate, #Political, #committee, #Dogbert, #blind, #faith, #system, #whiskey
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own a senator, what are you going to do with him?" Dogbert says, "He'll appreciate in value when a close vote comes up in the Senate. Then I'll sell him to a political action committee." Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my blind faith in the system." Dogbert says, "He's hungry. Do we have any whiskey?"
Friday October 09,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens
Transcript
Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"
Monday March 22,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #engineering, #knowledge, #promote, #prima donna, #demonstrate, #personality, #dissorders, #mumble, #disdain, #humanity
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"
Sunday December 10,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dweeb, #humanity, #tube, #sock, #inventors, #ambiguity, #good
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Be honest, Dogbert. Do you think I'm a gifted inventor . . ." Dilbert asks, ". . . Or just a pathetic dweeb who contributes nothing to humanity?" Dogbert says, "Well . . . Uh . . . I think . . ." Dogbert says, "In my mind, you are the 'tube sock of inventors.'" Dilbert says, "Really? Gosh . . . Thank you . . . Wait, that's good, right? Of course, it must be good." Dogbert says, "Ambiguity succeeds where honesty dares not venture."
Wednesday May 10,
2000
Tags #melt polar ice caps, #doom humanity, #part of humanity, #marketing, #help destroy planet, #free t shirts, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says to Carol, "This product would melt the polar ice caps and doom humanity." Carol replies, "That's okay." Dilbert says, "You're a part of humanity." Carol answers, "No, I'm in marketing." Dilbert says to Carol, "I won't help you destroy the planet." Carol answers, "That's what I said until I saw the free T-shirts."
Tuesday February 12,
2002
Tags #efficient, #glass walled room, #name of case, #too unattractive, #tribunal of admin. assistants, #verdict, #humanity
Transcript
Carol says, "The tribunal of Admin Assistants will hear the case of..." Carol continues, "The man who is too unattractive to use the glass-walled conference room versus humanity." Dilbert exclaims, "You put the verdict in the name of the case!" Carol replies, "We're efficient."
Sunday July 25,
1999
Tags #the hindenburg, #famous cigar shaped ballon, #thank alice, #theme, #choosing, #planning, #event, #enjoy film, #hidenburg, #the humanity, #detonate
Transcript
The boss standsa at a podium dressed in a costume that includes a large blimp attached to his head. The boss says, "Welcome..." The boss says, "To our annual employee meeting." Dilbert, Alice and Wally dressed in casual clothes listen. The boss says, "Our theme this year is "The hindenburg." The boss says, "...which I'm told was a famous cigar shaped balloon." The boss says, "Let's all thank Alice for choosing the theme and planning the event. Wally and Dilbert clap. The boss says, "Now please enjoy this film clip of the Hindenberg" The boss watches shocked. From the TV, "AAAgh! The humanity!" Wally says, "He's coming for you. Detonate his costume." Alice who holds a radio control says, "One, two..."