Fake Disability Claim Comic Strips

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133 Results for Fake Disability Claim

View 1 - 10 results for fake disability claim comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Disability Claim" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2000's comic on:

Tags #fake disability claim, #disabled, #hard to believe, #note from doctor, #obvious, #long time

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Wally says to Dilbert as he pours himself a cup of coffee in the break room, "I'm thinking about going out on a fake disability claim." Wally and Dilbert are walking with a cup of coffee in hand. Wally goes on to say, "Do you think anyone will believe I'm disabled?" Dilbert replies sarcastically to himself without speaking, "It's hard to believe you're not." Wally enters The Boss' office and asks, "Do you need a note from my doctor?" The Boss replies sarcastically unenthused, "No, it's been obvious for a long time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2000's comic on:

Tags #fake disability leave, #missed camaraderie, #stimulating conversation, #didn't know gone, #not missed

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With Dilbert's back turned facing his computer, Wally says "I came back early from my fake disability leave." Wally continues, "I missed the camaraderie and the stimulating conversation." Dilbert replies without turning to face Wally, "I didn't know you were gone." Wally replies, "Not bad for a Tuesday."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2000's comic on:

Tags #disablity, #jiggle the camera, #test, #walls claim, #sneak, #camera, #caught, #spy, #window, #unsuspecting

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Asok goes to Dilbert's house to spy on him. While video taping Dilbert's actions, Asok thinks to himself, "Wally's claim of disability will be put to the test." Now from a different view in Dilbert's yard (next to the fence), Asok thinks to himself, "Here we go...oh, yeah...come to Asok...go, baby, go!" Back at the office, Catbert asks Asok "Does he ever move?" Asok replies innocently, "It looks that way when I jiggle the camera."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fake press relases, #new green technology, #scientist, #2040 power home, #refrigerator door, #science

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Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2011's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #fake links, #boost search rank, #dung for barins, #shut your pie hole

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Dilbert: Google found out that we used fake links to boost our search rank. Now our website only shows up when someone enters the search string "dung for brains." Boss: They won't get away with this! Computer: Shut your pie hole.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2011's comic on:

Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company, #engineering

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Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #competition (psychology), #tweaks to ideas, #fails, #claim credit, #many forms genius, #steaming an oval

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Boss: I made a few tweaks to your idea. Now if it fails it was your idea, and if it works I can claim credit. Boss: Genius comes in many forms. Dilbert: Such as steaming and oval?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anger, #annoyance, #online class, #improve charisma, #stupid fake charisma, #weird

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Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2012's comic on:

Tags #discussion, #ideas, #meeting, #originality, #irrational thinking, #optoistic, #new prodcuts, #faking optomisim, #fake buy in, #business

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Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #mesozoic era, #giant, #plastic, #bone, #fake, #vomit, #wrap, #toss, #tar, #pit

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Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You know, Bob, I always pictured you dinosaurs as . . . Uh . . . Much bigger." Bob replies, "Ah, well, you see, practical jokes were very popular in the Mesozoic era . . ." A dinosaur says to a clerk in a novelty store, "Ooh-ooh! Give me the giant plastic bone and one fake vomit!" The salesclerk asks, "Shall I wrap them or just toss them in the tar pits?"