Fake Name Comic Strips
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394 Results for Fake Name
View 1 - 10 results for fake name comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Name" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 11,
2001
Tags #criminal record, #police, #fake name, #quality of assignments, #legal
Transcript
Wally sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "Wally, now that you have a criminal record, I can't let you work on anything important." Wally replies, "I don't have a criminal record. I gave the police a fake name." Wally approaches Asok the Intern at his desk and says, "You might notice a change in the quality of your assignments."
Friday June 18,
1999
Tags #hiding nametag, #fake babies, #see name, #start fliting, #babies, #third fake baby, #still hides name
Transcript
Dilbert is at the checkout counter of clothes store. The cashier has her hand over her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "She's hiding her name tag so I won't get friendly with her." dilbert reaches into a sack and thinks, "I'll toss these fake babies in the air. When she catches them, I'll see her name and start flirting." The cashier catches one baby, the other lands on her head as her hand remains on her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "Dang! I knew I should have brought a third fake baby."
Thursday January 15,
1998
Tags #skeptics association, #psychic rat, #passport, #drivers licence, #fake id, #dna test, #never been cloned
Transcript
Dilbert is talking on the telephone and says, "Is this Skeptics Association? I need your help to prove my rat isn't psychic." Dilbert holds the phone and says, "My name is Dilbert. Yes, I can prove it; I have a pssport and a driver's license. Well, yeah. It's easy to get a fake ID, but..." Hours later... Dilbert is still on the phone, his hair is a mess and he says, "...Okay, what if I take a DNA test? No, I can't prove I've never been cloned!!" He's angry.
Sunday January 26,
2014
Tags #management jargon, #engage employees, #follow from front, #anything, #tell people, #fake caring situation, #fake passion, #uncle died, #combine both
Transcript
Boss: What's the newest management jargon I need to pretend you understand? Catbert: Experts say you should engage employees and follow from the front. Boss: Does that mean anything? Catbert: No one know. Just to be safe, you should tell people you're doing it. Boss: Should I act as if I'm passionate, or is this more of a fake caring situation? Catbert: Beats me. Try combining the two. Boss: Fake passion plus fake caring. Asok: My uncle died. Boss: Woot!!! What was his name?!
Friday July 26,
2019
Thanking Everyone By Name
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #name
Transcript
boss: i'd like to thank each member of the team by name...i'll start with what's-his-face here. voice from crowd: it's dilbert. boss: no, that's not it. you look like steve.
Friday March 12,
2021
Deep Fake Zoom
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #deep fake, #program, #generic, #employee, #work, #sarcasm, #cell phone, #laptop
Transcript
dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!
Tuesday March 29,
2011
Tags #fake press relases, #new green technology, #scientist, #2040 power home, #refrigerator door, #science
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"
Friday April 29,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce
Transcript
Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.
Friday June 24,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #fake links, #boost search rank, #dung for barins, #shut your pie hole
Transcript
Dilbert: Google found out that we used fake links to boost our search rank. Now our website only shows up when someone enters the search string "dung for brains." Boss: They won't get away with this! Computer: Shut your pie hole.
Saturday September 17,
2011
Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.