Fake Surveillance Camera Comic Strips
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167 Results for Fake Surveillance Camera
View 1 - 10 results for fake surveillance camera comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Surveillance Camera" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 28,
2000
Tags #fake surveillance camera, #chepaer, #discourage thefts, #treat employees like criminals, #leave
Transcript
Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."
Thursday January 22,
2015
Selfie Camera
Tags #frustration, #inventions, #priorities, #selfie, #social media, #selfie camera, #car steering wheels, #ion powered car, #share, #slefies, #facebook, #technology
Transcript
Wally: I heard you invented a selfie camera for car steering wheels. Dilbert: Not exactly. I invented an ion-powered flying car, but all anyone cares about is the selfie camera in the steering wheel. Wally: Can you share the selfies on Facebook? Dilbert: Gaaa!
Tuesday March 29,
2011
Tags #fake press relases, #new green technology, #scientist, #2040 power home, #refrigerator door, #science
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"
Thursday March 31,
2011
Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy
Transcript
Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"
Friday June 24,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #fake links, #boost search rank, #dung for barins, #shut your pie hole
Transcript
Dilbert: Google found out that we used fake links to boost our search rank. Now our website only shows up when someone enters the search string "dung for brains." Boss: They won't get away with this! Computer: Shut your pie hole.
Saturday September 17,
2011
Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.
Wednesday December 28,
2011
Tags #anger, #annoyance, #online class, #improve charisma, #stupid fake charisma, #weird
Transcript
Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.
Sunday May 13,
2012
Tags #discussion, #ideas, #meeting, #originality, #irrational thinking, #optoistic, #new prodcuts, #faking optomisim, #fake buy in, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.
Thursday April 26,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #mesozoic era, #giant, #plastic, #bone, #fake, #vomit, #wrap, #toss, #tar, #pit
Transcript
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You know, Bob, I always pictured you dinosaurs as . . . Uh . . . Much bigger." Bob replies, "Ah, well, you see, practical jokes were very popular in the Mesozoic era . . ." A dinosaur says to a clerk in a novelty store, "Ooh-ooh! Give me the giant plastic bone and one fake vomit!" The salesclerk asks, "Shall I wrap them or just toss them in the tar pits?"
Tuesday June 02,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #video, #phone, #dating, #unattractive, #prospects, #camera, #system, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk watching the video phone. Dilbert says, "This video phone will be a big help for dating." Dilbert continues, "This way I can weed out the unattractive prospects in seconds." Dogbert asks, "Isn't there a camera on your end too?" Dilbert replies, "No system is perfect."