Falling Apart Comic Strips

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38 Results for Falling Apart

View 1 - 10 results for falling apart comic strips. Discover the best "Falling Apart" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anne l. retentive, #task, #deliverable, #task not verb, #falling apart, #timeline project

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Headline: Anne L. Retentive. Anne is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and startles her. He says, "Anne, I'm going to task you with a deliverable." Anne exclaims, "Gaaa!! Task is not a verb!! My world is falling apart!" The Boss smirks. As he's walking away, The Boss thinks to himself, "Tomorrow I'll ask her to timeline her project."

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #salesman, #lawn, #apart, #spend, #scam

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Dogbert points to a car and says to a customer, "How about this one?" The man says, "I don't want to spend much. I'm only going to take it apart and leave it on the lawn." The man says, "I gotta be me."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #optical, #server, #falling, #asleep, #police, #died, #disk, #engineering, #men and women, #boring

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Dilbert says to a woman, ". . . Then I said 'what about an optical disk file server.'" The woman thinks as she spills her coffee and starts to fall, "So boring, falling asleep . . ." Dilbert watches as the woman falls over backwards. Dilbert says to a police officer, "I don't know how she died. i was telling her about an optical . . ." The policeman falls asleep and begins to fall.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company identified, #deadly falling satelites, #investigative reporter, #plan worked, #falling satellites, #hit target, #boss thought plnned

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The Boss sits at home watching the evening news on television. "Our investigtive reporter has identified the company behind the deadly falling satellites." The television sounds: "Whump!" The next day at the office, the Boss says to Dilbert "Your plan worked." Dilbert replies, "What plan?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #jobs, #want job your job, #falling out of trees, #dime a dozen, #intimidation, #job on line, #idle threats

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The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #firing, #frustration, #rudeness, #profits falling, #worthless sack of monkey spit, #birds ate brain, #regurgitate pellets

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The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

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Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #falling, #walking, #help, #emergency, #apathy, #Sports

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Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #flattery, #suspicion, #manipulate, #full benefit, #wisdom, #george clooney

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Dilbert: We can manipulate the pointy-haired menace into picking the right plan by comparing it to the worst alternatives. Alice: But then we wouldn't get the full benefit of his wisdom. Dilbert: Is he behind me? Alice: It might be George Clooney. I can't tell them apart.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #door, #fall, #falling, #rude, #stairs

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Dilbert walks through a door and thinks, "I hate this: somebody is just far enough behind me that it would be awkward to hold the door, but rude to let it swing." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'll just pick up the pace and act like I don't notice anybody behind me." The door hits the person behind him. The person screams and falls down the stairs. Dilbert thinks, "Doors at the tops of stairs are the worst."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #can-o-matic, #restroom, #stall, #randomly, #fires, #pink, #slip, #backs, #expressions, #security, #cameras

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Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."