Falling Out Of Trees Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for falling out of trees comic strips. Discover the best "Falling Out Of Trees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2003's comic on:

Tags #engineers, #jobs, #want job your job, #falling out of trees, #dime a dozen, #intimidation, #job on line, #idle threats

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The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #can-o-matic, #restroom, #stall, #randomly, #fires, #pink, #slip, #backs, #expressions, #security, #cameras

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Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2013's comic on:

Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

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Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2014's comic on:

Tags #engineers, #frustration, #apples and oranges, #comparing fruit, #grow on trees, #nutritionally

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Boss: You can't compare apples and oranges. Dilbert: That's clearly wrong because you just compared them and declared them different. Wally: Apples and oranges are both foods that grow on trees. It would be totally valid to compare them nutritionally. Dilbert: I've noticed that a lot of what comes out of your mouth makes no sense. Boss: You sound like my wife. Wally: You can't compare your wife to your subordinate. That's apples and oranges. Boss: What is happening here? Wally: I don't know, but I wouldn't compare it to work.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2011's comic on:

Tags #time travel, #elbonia, #time, #70 years future, #great grandson, #set thing, #won't work out, #cave, #pool, #monster, #gun

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Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #mindless task, #intern, #time, #little value, #jump out, #nice way to say

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Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #envy, #useful member of society, #admiration, #respect, #peers, #talked out of

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Wally: I'm toying with the idea of becoming a useful member of society. Then I could enjoy the admiration and respect of my peers. Dilbert: The way you respect and admire me? Wally: Great! Now you've talked me out of it!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #doctors' offices, #medicines, #whiny idiots, #pill, #doctor, #exam room, #office, #treadmill, #pass out, #medical

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Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2011's comic on:

Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science

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Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fighting, #trees, #ambassador of trees, #crimes against wood, #excessive printing, #copying, #biting, #bark is worse

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Tree: I am the ambassador of trees. You are accused of crimes against wood for your excessive printing and copying. Dilbert: And then he started biting me. Dogbert: His bark is worse.