Families Comic Strips
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5 Results for Families
View 1 - 5 results for families comic strips. Discover the best "Families" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 15,
1994
Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello
Transcript
"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."
Wednesday October 18,
2000
Tags #dozen, #dysfunctional families, #dysfunctional recruitment, #recruit emloyees, #trunk
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on the boss's desk. Dogbert says to the boss, "You need 'Dogbert's Dysfunctional Employee Recruitment Services.'" Dogbert continues, "I only recruit employees who were raised in dysfunctional families. They don't mind being mistreated!" The boss says, "How soon can you get me some?" Dogbert says, "I have a dozen in the trunk of my car."
Friday April 18,
2008
Tags #emotional investment, #company, #families, #divorced, #single, #never been kissed, #mission accomplished, #business
Transcript
The Boss: I want you to have the same emotional investment in this company as you have with your families. Wally: I'm divorced. Dilbert: I'm single. Asok: "I have never been kissed. Wally: Mission accomplished.
Friday February 27,
2009
Tags #yelling, #budget, #meeting, #begging, #confused, #business
Transcript
The boss says, "Until the economy improves, we are instituting a mandatory week off every quarter." The boss says, "At least you'll have more time with your families." Ted says, Nooo!!! Not my family!!!" The boss says, "Problems at home?" Ted says, "May I please work without pay?"
Thursday October 09,
2014
Tags #high five, #human resources, #managers, #work ethic, #trash talking, #emplyee, #boss, #desk, #practice, #cat, #human, #animals, #business
Transcript
Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~