"Hi guys, how are your families?"
"?" "?"
"Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?"
"It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money."
"My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries."
"But enough about me...how are those families of yours?"
"My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours."
"This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate."
"Tell them I said 'hi'."
Dogbert is standing on the boss's desk. Dogbert says to the boss, "You need 'Dogbert's Dysfunctional Employee Recruitment Services.'" Dogbert continues, "I only recruit employees who were raised in dysfunctional families. They don't mind being mistreated!" The boss says, "How soon can you get me some?" Dogbert says, "I have a dozen in the trunk of my car."
The Boss: I want you to have the same emotional investment in this company as you have with your families.
Wally: I'm divorced.
Dilbert: I'm single.
Asok: "I have never been kissed.
Wally: Mission accomplished.
The boss says, "Until the economy improves, we are instituting a mandatory week off every quarter." The boss says, "At least you'll have more time with your families." Ted says, Nooo!!! Not my family!!!" The boss says, "Problems at home?" Ted says, "May I please work without pay?"
Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~
