Fast Fail Comic Strips
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143 Results for Fast Fail
View 1 - 10 results for fast fail comic strips. Discover the best "Fast Fail" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 23,
2013
Tags gadgets, tablet computer, dime sized computer, lick it, attach to eyeballs, fail, fast fail, finish in month
Transcript
CEO: I have a vision that our next product will be a tablet computer the size of a dime. Users will lick it and attach it to their eyeballs. Can you finish that in a month? Dilbert: I can fail at any speed you like.
Saturday September 23,
2000
Tags key to success, really fast, speed, ok to fail
Transcript
Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."
Wednesday October 23,
2019
Body Language Fail
Tags business, managers & supervisors, body language, fail, deny, psychology, monster
Transcript
female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!
Thursday February 16,
2012
Tags dating, fast date, technologically, incompatible, internet connection, slow connection, 4g service, relationships
Transcript
Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.
Tuesday March 20,
2012
Tags fast forward, phone, playing, time machine, time travel
Transcript
Dilbert: My phone is like a time machine. I can fast-forward through the boring parts of life by playing with it. Dogbert: Hand it over. Time flies when I'm not having fun.
Tuesday May 22,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, too big to fail, two pigs, flail, clever, demoralizing
Transcript
Boss: Are we too big to fail? CEO: Nope. We're more like two pigs that flail. Boss: That's clever, and yet demoralizing. CEO: You're welcome.
Saturday February 24,
1990
Friday May 22,
1992
Tags the boss, dave, haircut, management, fast-track, program, hair
Transcript
Dave sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dave, I hear that you've started cutting your own hair . . ." The Boss continues, "I'm afraid I'll have to drop you from the management fast-track program." The Boss walks away thinking, "Lucky we caught that one before he got too far."
Thursday August 27,
1992
Tags Dilbert, the boss, ben, newest, fast-track, manager, real, experience, executive, style, hair, silver
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."
Wednesday April 20,
1994
Tags out bidding, control, dsn, creative investoment, money, consultants, spending, fast
Transcript
"Bad news sir - our arch rivals are out-bidding us for control of DSN." "Apparently they have even less creative investment ideas than we do." "Quick! Give more money to our consultants!" "They're spending as fast as they can, Sir!!"