Fast Fail Comic Strips

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139 Results for Fast Fail

View 1 - 10 results for fast fail comic strips. Discover the best "Fast Fail" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #tablet computer, #dime sized computer, #lick it, #attach to eyeballs, #fail, #fast fail, #finish in month

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CEO: I have a vision that our next product will be a tablet computer the size of a dime. Users will lick it and attach it to their eyeballs. Can you finish that in a month? Dilbert: I can fail at any speed you like.

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key to success, #really fast, #speed, #ok to fail

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Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."

Body Language Fail

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Body Language Fail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #body language, #fail, #deny, #psychology, #monster

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female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #fast date, #technologically, #incompatible, #internet connection, #slow connection, #4g service, #relationships

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Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fast forward, #phone, #playing, #time machine, #time travel

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Dilbert: My phone is like a time machine. I can fast-forward through the boring parts of life by playing with it. Dogbert: Hand it over. Time flies when I'm not having fun.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #too big to fail, #two pigs, #flail, #clever, #demoralizing

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Boss: Are we too big to fail? CEO: Nope. We're more like two pigs that flail. Boss: That's clever, and yet demoralizing. CEO: You're welcome.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #dave, #haircut, #management, #fast-track, #program, #hair

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Dave sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dave, I hear that you've started cutting your own hair . . ." The Boss continues, "I'm afraid I'll have to drop you from the management fast-track program." The Boss walks away thinking, "Lucky we caught that one before he got too far."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #out bidding, #control, #dsn, #creative investoment, #money, #consultants, #spending, #fast

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"Bad news sir - our arch rivals are out-bidding us for control of DSN." "Apparently they have even less creative investment ideas than we do." "Quick! Give more money to our consultants!" "They're spending as fast as they can, Sir!!"