Fast Tracker Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

94 Results for Fast Tracker

View 1 - 10 results for fast tracker comic strips. Discover the best "Fast Tracker" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management fast tracker, #deliver big report, #ceo, #fax, #shredder, #tricked, #punked, #contempt

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Matt. How's our favorite management fast-tracker?" "Great! I've got two minutes to deliver my big report to our CEO. Can you tell me where the fax is?" "Oops, I'm wrong. That's the shredder." "He'll go far in this company." "Bzzzzp."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #daughter, #cub girl cookies, #volume level, #downsizer, #low performer, #fast tracker, #united way chairperson

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, "I'll be writing your performance review this afternoon." The Boss continues, "But this morning I'm helping my daughter sell cub girl cookies." The Boss continues, "For your shopping convenience I have assigned a name to each volume level." Dilbert reads, "Zero to four boxes is the 'downsizer' volume . . ." Dilbert reads, "Five to eight boxes is the 'low performer' volume level." Dilbert writes on the order form and says, "Let's say six hundred boxes." The Boss says, "Ahh . . . The 'fast tracker.' An excellent choice." Dilbert asks, "What's your daughter's name?" The Boss says, "Ooh . . . Gotta go." Wally says, "I only bought twelve boxes. Now I'm the 'United Way' chairperson." Dilbert says, "I just signed your name for six hundred more."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #fast date, #technologically, #incompatible, #internet connection, #slow connection, #4g service, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fast forward, #phone, #playing, #time machine, #time travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My phone is like a time machine. I can fast-forward through the boring parts of life by playing with it. Dogbert: Hand it over. Time flies when I'm not having fun.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #dave, #haircut, #management, #fast-track, #program, #hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dave sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dave, I hear that you've started cutting your own hair . . ." The Boss continues, "I'm afraid I'll have to drop you from the management fast-track program." The Boss walks away thinking, "Lucky we caught that one before he got too far."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #out bidding, #control, #dsn, #creative investoment, #money, #consultants, #spending, #fast

View Transcript

Transcript

"Bad news sir - our arch rivals are out-bidding us for control of DSN." "Apparently they have even less creative investment ideas than we do." "Quick! Give more money to our consultants!" "They're spending as fast as they can, Sir!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #build, #meeting, #project kick off, #project manager, #super fast microchips, #harder to saboatge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finish program, #fast, #train him, #prodcutive, #big glowing thing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and turns around as the Boss enters. The Boss says, "We need to finish your program twice as fast, so I'm adding a person to help you." The Boss says as he leaves Dilbert's cubicle, "You might need to train him a little before he's productive." Dilbert waves his arms as he thinks, "Warning! Warning! Dr. Smith." Dilbert sits at his desk with the new co-worker, a small man with big ears and a disheveled shirt collar. Pointing at the monitor, he asks Dilbert, "Tell me again what the big glowing thing is."